Need help with a not so great friendship.

@Cookiesauce

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My friend and I use to date back in 2015 for only 3 weeks. There was constant fights and all sorts of things. We met again in 2018 and became close friends. We just constantly fight and I dont know why. He says I hurt him and make him sad, (I would be very careful with the things he says. He is making you feel responsible for how he feels, when in reality he is responsible for how he feels.) but I have no idea what Im doing... (He was probably very hurt by his family, so it makes him project the trauma he went through them with you.) Sometimes I could just be sitting there relaxing from work or something and hed be offended by it. (This tells me he is being unreasonable here. I can tell he becomes impatient and anxious when things dont go the way he wants or when he expects you to know, so it triggers his past issues. He probably expects you to be there for him 24/7) This is an online friendship, so I get if he takes our texts differently than what I type, (as in emotions in the words) but I dont know what to do with his inferiority complex. I can say Im with my family and hell breakdown and tell me how much I like them more than him and how I want him to die and all sorts of things. (This is a major red flag, its important to not ignore this. He feels separation anxiety and jealous when he is away from you, so he becomes manipulative on an attempt to soothe himself without thinking how this makes you feel. The things he says here are things his family made him feel, its not a good idea to be around someone who is behaving this way) He says I am the reason for a lot of his sadness and I dont understand how? (He is being manipulative and trying to guilt trip you here, so this might make you attempt to please him. The only reason he is sad is because of how his past life went, but he needs to blame you so he doesn't have to deal with how he feels and so you do what he wants) I am just living my life and doing whatever. (You should keep doing that because you two are not in a relationship and you dont owe him anything)

There was a time also back in 2018-2019 where I went to walmart to get toothpaste and when I said Im at walmart (cause he always asks what Im doing/where Im at/ect.) (This tells me he is controlling, anxious and manipulative. He needs to constantly be certain of where you are and what you do on order to feel good inside. The reality is he learned to not trust peoplebecause in the past they let him down and disappoint him, so now he tried to control uncertainty) he flipped on me and said Guess thats more important than me (He has unreasonable expectation of how you should be. It's all about "you didn't take care of me", so it is where he begin to use protest behavior. He has also black and white thinking, which is a huge issue here. The moment you have your life and it doesn't match with his fantasy then he will label it as "it means im not that important) and I dont know what else to do other than feel guilty and bad... (Its understandable the way you feel, its awful to keep getting blame for everything. it's not your fault the way he is behaving. You are enabling his behavior by continuing with this friendship though)I really want help with this, and I promised him Id look for help on here (since aparenlty Im the issue) (No, he is the one who has tons of issues that he is projecting on you) but I dont think its that easy. He wont believe that he needs help. He wont get help and refuses any sort of help that this app or professionals have to offer. I do research to try and help also, and he pushes it all away. I just dont know what to do anymore. :( (This is where you might have to ask yourself "Its this is a friendship I should keep investing when all he does is making me feel bad?". He is not willing to improve and get help, so this means he will always behave this way with you. Are you really going to continue this friendship with someone who only cares about how they feel and don't have your best interest in mind?)