One-sided friendship?
For several years, I have associated with a friend who lives in the same complex because we appear to have some things in common. That being said, I have recently noticed a few things about this relationship.
1. He always wants to talk about his things
A. His 20 cats
B. The problems he is going through
C. What's going on in his own life
That's okay
Yet, if I talk about anything he will respond with
1. He never seems interested in what's going on in my own life. If I tell him, it's "I don't care."
2. He never seems to that interested in my cat. Instead, he picks on me about cleaning out her litter box and taking care of her.
3. He also seems to criticize me a lot. "You worry too much about what other people think about you, you're insecure."
In all honesty, I like him as I think he is a good person with excellent qualities, but I wonder if this friendship is even worth it.
@Summershy
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@7motivation
Thanks. At the moment I am discovering how many of my friendships have been negative. I have other friends who are much more positive and supportive. I would like to focus on them.
It's clear this friend is unhappy and very self-centered. It is clear he wants all the attention too
@Summershy
That sounds very frustrating. It is understandable why you feel this would be a one-sided relationship. Hugs! I have done a pros and cons list on keeping somebody similar as a friend before. It sounds silly, but it did shed some light on it. Sending clarity vibes!
@Itisbailey
I was not even aware of ir until yesterday. He is going through a stressful time, I get it. However, when I tried to tell him a relating story it was "I don't care," and he needed to dump on me but all I wanted to do was talk about myself. Just being talked to like that made me re-think the friendship with him.
@Summershy
Hey! I hope you are doing well.
From what I have understood, your friend may be a good person but he isnt a good friend to you. Having friends in life is very important but it is also important for us to understand that friendships work two way. Only giving can be very exhausting and can disturb your mental peace. The duration of the friendship does not matter if efforts are not there. Friends are known as the support system and it is very important for us to let go of people who do not help us grow rather pull us down.
No one deserves a toxic friendship.
@Summershy Hello, honestly, I think you are in a toxic relationship. Friendship works in two ways. It will only last if both of you wanted to keep the friendship and it seems like your friend doesn't want to be your actual friend.
@redCircle8282
I decided the friendship was over after last weekend. He said some really mean things last week that made me really angry. Basically, he is dealing with a rough time in his life and I tried to share a relateable story. However, all he did was stab me with nasty words.
"I....don't...care!" and all I was doing was talking about "Myself." What? He was was so mean and it made me cry. My eyes were also opened after that. We had been friends for 8 years. In that time, I could never open up to him about anything without being dismissed and criticized so.
I had talked to some other people and they said it seems like he just wanted an aquaintanceship
