Self centered and manipulative friend

@whiterabbit7

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

She makes every conversation about herself. If I make a comment about anything that's unrelated to her, she'll either ignore it or somehow make it about herself. (This tells me she is a very self-centered person who will often focus mostly on her needs and how she feels. There's also a chance she has high anxiety, which will often make you feel like you are not being heard, understood).

She's very dramatic whenever she suffers any kind of inconvenience or setback. (I believe she has zero control of her own emotions and doesn't know how to soothe herself, so she will often behave in dramatic and irrational ways). She was having troubles at work and wanted sympathy from her boyfriend, so she texted him things like "I just want to know something in my life isn't falling apart" (This statement here it's something she shouldn't have said, since this is a way to actually force a response and re-connection. She is feeling a lot of anxiety, so she will send those kind of messages to soothe herself, which actually her boyfriend becomes an object here). (referring to their relationship). Her boyfriend was upset at having their relationship questioned out of the blue and this started a fight. (What she said actually triggered her boyfriend anxiety, so now both sides felt disconnected and then they both started to fight). She came to me for support.

I had no issues with her coming to me for support until she became controlling and manipulative in order to get it.

She would call, text, fb message several times a day. (This is not fair on you at all, but I believe she was looking to soothe her own anxiety which made her keep calling and messaging you. The problem with her is that she doesn't know how take care of herself and often will become self-absorbed). One morning I came out of the shower to find I had 5 missed calls, messages, and she was tracking my location using an app. (This is getting out of hand, she is not thinking about you, but rather on a way to soothe herself by any means necessary). I called her and she was hysterical, saying she was already on her way to me. (This is mess up...she doesn't know if you'll be busy or not..., but she decidies to still go to your house. She is not showing any empathy or consideration for your time). Nothing new had happened since we last spoke, she just kept saying that she needed "human contact" until her boyfriend got home. I felt I had no choice but to forget what I had planned that day and see her. (Thi was not a good idea because it teaches her that you'll be available any time she feels down, there's no boundaries so she is doing whatever she wants...The whole "Human Contact" its just a way to soothe herself until her boyfriend shows up...). She got to my house and we drove around for hours talking about her and her boyfriend. At one point she said she felt bad for basically using me, but then followed that up with "but I'd do the same for you". (Doubt it...) Her boyfriend got home from work and I was dismissed. (I don't think its possible to have a healthy friendship with her...everything is going to be about her.) This went on for 3 months.

Recently we were meant to meet up and see a movie together. I tried to bring up something upsetting that had happened to me that day (I hadn't talked about myself and she hadn't asked how I was for over 3 months). (This tells me she is only focused on herself and you kept being there for her, again this teaches her that is okay for her to talk about herself all the time). She ignored what I said and continued talking about herself, (She is self-absorbed, so it's impossible to have a give & take conversation with her), then said she wanted me to give her some of my anxiety medication. (This a person who is looking for the quick solution no matter how much risks are involved). I snapped and said I didn't want to meet up any more. (You did the right thing, all of her negativity would have actually affect you to a point where you would have felt depressed) She didn't ask why. (This shows how much she cares about the friendship...). We haven't talked since then.