She still makes me mad
Hi, even though it's been many years since this frenemy has abandoned me and showed me her true colors, I am still bothered by things that she did and still does.
- She manipulates people by playing both the victim and sympathy cards so she can get away with being a jerk to other people
"All my life I have felt like a pile of dog crap because of my disability and therefore I am not a genius. It's not fair." She also cries crocodile while she pulls this.
"All my life my father compared me to my sisters."
2. She has a way of finding out who her competition is and finds a way to get ahead of them by always rubbing in their face while never helping the other party
3. She comes across as that competitions friends
4. She's very stuck on herself
@Summershy
hi summer, i am so sorry to hear you are still struggling with some aftermath of leaving your old friend. I understand she does a lot of things that still bother you such as playing the victim and making people feel bad for her, i am sorry you are going through that. I am sure it cannot be easy especially feeling this way, What sort of feelings do you feel when these events occur ?
Best wishes<3
thank you for sharing that.
-magic
@magicalOcean594
First of all, it's not just her but people who are really competitive like that who always seem to get their way and win. Not to mention, people like that think they are so much more important than the other people they are threatened.
Therefore, it just makes me mad.
Actually, when her claws started coming out, during our "Friendship," I got mad at her a lot because she was always trying to one up me. However, she has always been extremely jealous and me next to constantly feeling threatened by me. So, she was always doing mean things like that.
However, she was never there for me whenever I needed her for anything. Everything else was more important.
@magicalOcean594
One other note:
She was dumped me years ago and was not very nice about it either. Her reasons? She was mad that I could not get her a present for Christmas even though I could not afford to get her one. This was though I was looking for a new job. Yet, instead of telling me how she felt about the present situation, she blamed on my getting mad at her all the time.
many of us have had this friend .......
I Did it was fine ........as long as her needs were met .....or she used me to be a companion etc .... but no she was not there for me ..... like a real friend is.
Looking back every thing she did was designed to make her feel superior and better then everyone......people loved that she sent cards and little gifts for all types of occasions.
Behind the facade .................she wore people out she did not have long term friends .... let alone relationships of any kind even her sister grew tired of her competition issue .....and I began to feel sorry instead of mad.
My former, “Friend” got married and lied to people who she associated with to make married like seem like she was living “Happily Ever After” by convincing me that she could suddenly cook. Before that, she was a lousy cook. She lied all the time about her cooking.
She also had friends drop her like a hot potato which she hated. “I thought they were my friend.” Yet it was ok for her to dump other people and have a lack of empathy about me.
Still, she loves getting her way and if that doesn’t happen then her claws come out.
@Summershy
Everything you said about her is right.
But in all the years that she has abandoned your friendship, has thinking about it with hostility improved your life in any way? If she suddenly ceased to exist tomorrow would you suddenly become a better person? When people behave unkindly towards us, they are wrong to do so. But if we choose to hold on to the wrong that has been done to us, we wrong ourselves twice over!
’Resentment is like taking poison, and waiting for the other person to die...’
Every day that you are transfixed by the hateful past, is a day that you prevent yourself from finding peace and moving on to better things; from building better more meaningful and sincere friendships.
The world is filled with light, but first you have to choose to stop standing in her shadow every day.
Wishing you peace at happiness ~!
CatsInTheCradle
@CatzInTheCradle
Thank you again and by the way, I have your name as I have that song on my phone.
I think I realize that I am probably also mad about is that I had wanted a significant other of my own and at no time did she ever talk to any of her friends and networks who could introduce me to someone. Rather, she just criticized me about what I needed to change. Yet, at no time she did ever set any examples or work with me on working on my make up or anything.
However, you're right she's long gone and if anything, it's probably better for me to want her to be happy. By that, I mean, learning how to stop running after the wrong things love herself.
@CatzInTheCradle
I will tell you a few things that I noticed with my ex-"Friend"
It was definitely a one-sided relationship because
- We first started associating a few years before she finally met her husband and she was very depressed. During that time, I had to be careful about talking about the good things in my own life because it was not fair to her. Yet, when she got what she wanted, it was okay for her to provoke me to envy and jealousy.
- Though she knew I wanted to meet someone, she had friends who were really popular and introduced her to her husband. Yet, at no time did she ever ask them to introduce me to someone.
- She was always criticizing me about me needed to change myself in order to me to find a significant other. Yet, she never bothered to," Show me how."
Oh I have been working on letting her go and I don’t like feeling this way, trust me . I do want to move forward and be happy.
honestly, I don’t wish her to be miserable. I just want her to think about what she did. I don’t think about her all time time but sometimes the feelings come back in waves. However, I am working through the strong emotions.
Start focusing on yourself.
I am and I am starting by being my own friend by talking to the woman in the mirror. I got the idea from Dr Sharon Livingston’s Ted talk
