Taking a break from a negative friend
So, recently I wrote about dealing with a negative friend who liked to dump his problems on me by playing the victim and sympathy cards. "I'm smart, life's not fair." Attitude, I also happened to catch him covet what other people have and lie about some things. I was so drained this last time that I decided to take a break from him.
So when he contacted me on Sunday and Monday, I ghosted him and was just going to do that. Then I decided to be direct with him in mentioning that I need space for a while because of the fact that he dumped on me. I also called him out on his lying and that I can't trust. Believe me, I don't feel good about it and I am sad, but I think I am better off.
Hello, I see no ones really replied to your thread but I just joined and have a similar story. I have had a childhood friend since the age of 14. Her life and mine as well had a lot of family trauma. We drifted in and out of each other’s lives over the years. The last 6 years we rekindled and started our friendship again, everything seemed to be going great. The past year or so I’ve always had this anxiety inside of me when I would speak to her. And when I would get off the phone I always felt so confused by her stories. I would try to help her but her stories would never add up. I always has an inkling that she was lying but didn’t want to believe my own best friend could do that. Eventually the anxiety grew and I really couldn’t shake off how her stories just wouldn’t add up. I spoke to my mom about it and she also informed me that she felt my best friend was a liar as well. She also has issues with depression, and some substance abuse. I love her but I had to distance myself from her. I ghosted her without explanation for 2-3 months, but my heart just felt so heavy. I felt bad. Just recently I reached out to her we talked for a few days, but she stopped reaching out now. She was very responsive but I also felt like she didn’t care as much either, or nothing had changed in her. I just don’t know how to feel. I also feel like she’s broadcasting this new relationship that doesn’t even exist. I feel like he’s just a fuck buddy and she’s making it out into something else.
@courageousBeach7448
Thanks for the reply:
I decided to drop my friend like a hot potato, because I didn't think it was worth is to pursue a relationship with him. Not only did he lie, but he was very self-absorbed. He also seemed to talk about wanting to pursue these big dreams but never seemed to make an effort to move forward to better his life. He always had an excuse and nothing was ever good enough for him. I felt very drained after our time together over the summer.
@courageousBeach7448
I have an update:
Though I did not contact him recently, I briefly skimmed through what he said back. Basically, he pointed his finger back at me and said "Well you did the same thing." He also didn't apologize to me. Rather, he attempted to manipulate me further by pulling out the victim card. Still, I did not respond and deleted it because I don't have time for drama.
