i feel kind of like a bad friend?

in june i decided to stop reaching out to my friends as much. not terminate the friendship, but stop consistently reaching out. around mid-march i started struggling with my mental health & it was a rough battle for two months. everyone was aware, for the most part, even if they didn't have the details, but no one reached out to me.

recently, they've started reaching out to me because one of us had a birthday. another friend broke up with her boyfriend of two/three years a few days before. he was my friend too. i've started speaking with them again, being holidays & all (if that makes sense?). i want to be there for her but i just get jealous that she has the support i didn't have.

i helped my friend move out after the breakup a few days ago, but i feel awful because i don't care. i helped her and offered her my ear because i love her, but i don't care. i know a piece of that comes from depression hitting due to the holidays & my own jealousy. that makes things worse.

how do i comfort someone i couldn't trust to comfort me? i helped her move out & she couldn't even text me during my own rough patch. we were literally roommates. i feel selfish & like an awful friend & petty.