lost hope of making new friends.
today was the day that everything finally hit. i realized i have no friends now, that im alone and have nobody to talk to. before today, i kinda blocked out the emotions and acted tough so nobody would worry about me. but now - i cant hold back how i feel. im hurt and idk what to do. every time i try to make friends - i feel that im annoying or they dont want to talk to me. people dont like me for what reason?? im not sure. ive never been quite sure on why people dont like me. theres never been a time in my life where people DIDNT hate me. ive always been left out and lonely. when someone actually shows interest in talking to me, it catches me off guard... especially when im walking in the hallway at school and someone calls my name to say hi or have a conversation. this year has been extremely difficult on me both mentally and emotionally. i am completely isolated at school and dont hang out with anyone. people talk trash about me as i walk past so i can hear it, people pretend im invisible so they wont have to interact with me in any way, shape or form, people using me only for homework answers and many other things. one thing about me, Im way too nice to people who dont deserve it. i give people answers for homework but when i ask for the favor - which is rare - they dont do the same. but i continue to do this just so maybe someone will actually like me and be my friend. this year, my mom has been picking me up early every day because school has become such a strain on me emotionally and mentally. school is emotionally exhausting. i dont know what to do at this point. i have no friends, no motivation, im stressed, anxious and many other things. idk what to do.
Yesterday the exact same thing hit me too. I feel like im incapable of making friends. It sucks and in sorry to hear you're feeling the same. I dont know if things will get better, but i guess maybe there's some solace in knowing this is a more common issue than i initially thought.
@Kyleestevens This is so relatable and has been the feelings I've had for years! (I'm currently in my third year of college, 21 years old.) I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate and handle this space as well. Today has been one of the days where these emotions are hitting me hard, especially with the quarantine and not being able to leave the house to get my mind off of things. Something I have noticed in the past year that helps me a bit is taking the time to get to know myself, my interests, my likes and dislikes; like I would do with a new friends. I have tried to take the time and energy to get to know myself the way I would get to know new friends. It helps me feel loved and cared for. I'm not going to lie though, it can be difficult to focus on that when you see people out in groups or friends posting about how much they love each other on social media. But the attempt to love myself the way I wish I was loved and cared for by a friend really helps sometimes. It's just the beginning, but I am hoping that this leads to attracting and being able to find friends in the future who can make me feel the way I know I can make myself feel. This takes a lot of emotional vulnerability, which is another thing I have been working on. Give yourself time to open up and feel okay being open with others. I'm not there yet, but I try to do things and put myself out there just a little bit when I'm feeling like I can handle it. I have been burned in past friendships, so it's difficult but whenever I open up just a little and have that acknowledged and feel seen, it makes it all worth it. Even when it isn't acknowledged or seen, I acknowledge it myself and remind myself that I'm strong for even trying and to love myself for trying. People often underestimate the importance of outside validation and relationships, but it's important and there's no point in denying yourself those feelings. It is okay and normal to want to be loved and cared for. There's no shame in it at all. I hope you stay active and find activites that allow yourself to be social and learn more about yourself! I'm working on it too, so you are not alone!
@Kyleestevens- your post tugged at my heart. I am probably your grandmother's age- BUT- making new friends is a lifelong journey. You never know who will come into your life. Right now where I live we are experiencing shut downs related to corona. Just when I was making new friends- whammo. Thank you for reaching out to the 7 cups community- you are not alone in this world. Hugs to you, and keep in touch through this forum. We care.
