3 Ways to Be More Assertive in Your Relationship

1. Reflect on your sense of self

Our self-evaluation shapes our behavior and attitude and plays a key role in the contributions we make in our relationships. When we lack a positive self-perception, two things tend to happen:

• We run away from tasks or conversations that may require our attention.
• We overcompensate for our perceived shortcomings by becoming aggressive, boastful, or dismissive.

Low self-esteem and a high tendency to please people can lead to an "always yes" attitude. In other words, you may end up compromising on your wants and needs to keep others happy. High self-esteem, on the other hand, is accompanied by greater self-awareness and acceptance. By treating yourself with respect, you gain the ability to ask and expect the same from others as well.

If you’re unsure how to raise your self-esteem, try a few of these research-backed exercises:

• Take a break from social media.
• Silence your inner critic and, instead, treat yourself the same way you would treat a close friend.
• Focus on progress, not perfection.
• Celebrate small wins and mini-milestones.

2. Take responsibility

A study published in Communication Research Reports shows that the desire to have one’s needs fulfilled without having to express them leads to disappointment and conflict in relationships. Communication is the cornerstone of all good relationships. If you find yourself struggling to express your needs, use these three tips to make your voice heard in a loving way:

• Use the premise of “when you do [x], i feel [y]” to neutralize the blame game and express yourself clearly.
• Keep a check on your emotions and communicate without letting your feelings get the best of you.
• Be confident and assertive with your body and words.

3. Practice, practice, practice

Assertiveness is an acquired skill that requires patience to unlearn, relearn, and reframe. Picking up simple habits can help you get where you need to be, like:

• Starting small and making frequent requests for what you need. A simple ask such as taking a walk together or making a grocery run can help you build reassurance.
• Acting confident until you feel confident. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary. You can set the right expectations by pushing yourself to making a change that will, over time, help you and your partner.
• Choosing the right time to be assertive. Before stating a request, you may consider making a conscious effort to check in with your partner to assess whether they have the emotional space to meet you where you’re asking them to.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

Are you assertive enough in your relationship?

#Relationships #Communication #Assertiveness

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