6 Conversation Habits for More Meaningful Connections

1. Listen with full attention.

Studies show that the quality of attention we bring to a conversation as a listener matters to social connection. Doing your best to keep a solid focus on what another person is sharing not only helps you understand them well, but communicates to them that you care.

2. Listen to understand their perspective.

We often take for granted that we understand what others mean when they speak with us, and yet humans are generally not as good at mind-reading as we think—it's easy to mistake our own assumptions for another's perspective. It can therefore be a useful practice to ask for clarification and check in to make sure you're on the same page: “I want to circle back to make sure I understand what you meant when you said…”.

3. Validate their experience and emotions.

Validation means showing someone that you take their perspective seriously and respect the meaning they've made about their own experiences. This is especially important when someone discloses something personal and emotional. Simple statements like "It makes so much sense that you feel that way" can go a long way toward building trust and connection. You can always follow that up with discussing different interpretations of events if that is relevant to the conversation.

4. Share about your own experiences.

Opening up about our own personal and even emotional experience endears us to one another. Psychologists call this self-disclosure, and have known for a long time that sharing about ourselves to the extent appropriate to a situation builds liking, closeness, and trust. Self-disclosure can also be a method for validating others’ experiences, letting them know that they are not alone in feeling the way they feel.

5. Highlight common ground.

Research shows that we tend to feel connected with others when we can see they share our reality to some extent—for example, having similar thoughts, beliefs, opinions, feelings, worldviews, or identities as we do. Acknowledge when you notice that you and another person have similar experiences or interests.

6. Express affection, gratitude, and celebration.

When you feel positively about someone, let them know! Affection is powerful in all kinds of relationships. Expressing gratitude for others' kindnesses, or congratulating them when they share good news about their own lives also have research-backed benefits.

Embrace awkwardness

Conversations don't always go smoothly, and that's okay; there’s no such thing as a perfect conversation. Learning to navigate moments of awkwardness together, in any kind of relationship, shows that you're willing to hang in there when you both feel uncomfortable, even if it's not easy.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

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