Am I a bad person…
To be honest, I don’t even know if I should be talking about this. My dad is a single parent. My parents divorced when I was around three to five years old, so I don’t have any memories of my mother. I don’t know her name, what she looks like, or anything about her—she’s a complete stranger to me.
Two years ago, she tried contacting me on my birthday. Last year, she sent me money, and this year, I turned her down again through my dad. I don’t know how many more times she’ll try before she finally gives up. I never want to disappoint my dad, but I have no intention of ever seeing her. We don’t have a real relationship—just a shared bloodline.
Maybe that sounds cruel, but she never spent a single day acting like a mother, so I don't feel any obligation to act like her daughter…maybe if she tried when I was younger… when I needed a mothers love… now… I already got used to it…so she’s just someone with the title of “my mom”
You've every right to feel the way you do. Some people think forgiveness is just a simple thing and easy to move on from the hurt and all those times you felt vulnerable and needed someone but felt alone.
It isn't. Just trust in yourself and go with your gut, You might feel different in the future and you might not, but it's ok. It's your life and you're protecting yourself, there's nothing wrong in that.
You're not bad, you're just human.
How you feel about your mom, especially since you never had a close relationship with her or really got to know her, is completely valid and understandable. It sucks that you never got the motherly love you needed growing up when you deserved to feel loved.
At the same time, I do think you should give your mom a chance and try responding to her. If having a relationship with your mom is something you have always wanted, it may be worth seeing if you can build that relationship now. I also think it is important to understand why she did not reach out before and why she is reaching out now. Maybe she was in a really difficult mental or emotional place back then. That does not erase the hurt, but understanding her side may help you make sense of everything and give you some closure.
At least you will know you tried to listen to her and open the door and make an effort to build a relationship with her, instead of potentially regretting in the future that you closed the door without ever trying.
