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Am I being abused? What do I do.

User Profile: peachjuice00004
peachjuice00004 October 8th, 2023

last night I went out with my boyfriend and his friends to a club. I was feeling sick that day and expressed that to him. I didn’t want to ruin his night as he is generally introverted and doesn’t like to go out much or socialise, and this was an important event to him. I told him I was feeling sick, but that I didn’t want to ruin the night and that we should go dance downstairs. He looked at me with kind of a disgusted look, and said we should leave. I said I didn’t want to and that we should dance, smiling, and he kept insisting we leave, very annoyed. After a while, I decided to go down to dance in hopes he would follow and lighten up the mood, but when I got there, he found me and asked me why I would make him follow me downstairs. He insisted we leave, and that my attitude was terrible. I went in front of him to get our coats from upstairs, and was upset. I had his house keys in my bag and handed them to him, but he resisted to take them. After some bickering I said firmly “I want to go home, and I will see you tomorrow. Go inside with your friends and have fun”. I walked down the street only to find he was following me, telling me to stop acting like a ***, to stop making a scene (although I was trying everything not to), and to stop making him follow me like a f*cking dog. I repeated over and over I just wanted to go home and that he should go back. We reached a small inside street, and I take out my phone to order a taxi. He grabs my phone from my hands and holds it up high so I could get it. We start to fight again and I keep trying to get my phone back, but he keeps telling me to “come back home” now and I could do whatever I wanted later. He refused to give me my phone back and pushes me away repeatedly, at this point I am crying. People walking back keep staring, it was embarrassing. After some time I wanted to do anything to get away from the situation, and tell him I would tell my parents what he was treating me like, to which he says if you do not come back with me we are done, to which I say we are done. He shoves my phone to my chest and walks off calling me a ***, and that I never did anything for him. I wait outside a bar for a cab alone for 25 min, people who had seen the scene come up to me to ask if they can help, I was totally in shock. He was so agressive with me. I have to go pick up some of my things from his house before work on Monday, how do I handle the situation ? I feel violated. I know he will make me feel like I did something wrong though.

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User Profile: Realist85
Realist85 October 8th, 2023

@Peachjuice I’m glad you are somewhere safe and recovering from the situation. Yes, you experienced emotional abuse and that’s the reason you feel violated. Time apart will definitely help bring clarity to the situation, Are the things at his home a necessity? Can they be purchased over? I think it’s too soon to go to his home alone. I would keep my distance for a while and acknowledge how you feel and take care of yourself first. The name calling and shoving are terms to reevaluate your relationship.

User Profile: limesnlemons44
limesnlemons44 October 9th, 2023

@peachjuice00004 You have done nothing wrong, he has been a total jerk to you. I can tell he's trying to be controlling, like he owns you. I know how that feels. I'm sorry. 


Warning: Hard truth, scroll down if you can handle it












He doesn't love you, he thinks he owns you, He doesn't. This relationship cannot be saved. I speak from experence