Am I being impatient and overthinking?
So it has this guy i’ve been talking to we’ve known each other for a while and had an on and off past. To start we have open communication so we agreed to not lie to each other cause lying doesn’t benefit anyone and honestly it’s just an extra weight for no reason. But basically we stopped talking for a bit and then reconnected this last March, we spent every single day with each other up until June.
To give leo context he is an i dependent contractor who is incharge of all bills for him and his sister, so rent, utilities, phone bills, insurance, etc. So working is how he keeps things running.
So basically in June he got a new contract and he explained to me this contract he has to drive more so like an hour or so out and then when he gets there he works for a lot of hours (cause it’s manual work) and he gets tunnel vision when he works so sometimes he would work for like 12 hours straight (and i’ve seen this cause sometimes i used to go to work with him). So I noticed since he got the new contract he hasn’t communicated everyday like what he used to, and uk being a normal girl i asked if he was talking to anyone or anything and he said no and actually an issue we used to have at the beginning got cleared up unprovoked so i was happy. He said on saturday when we spoke about communication and stuff that he will try his best and he sounded genuine. I even gave him a cop out to cancel some plans we were trying to make because since he’s been so busy we’ve been trying to plan some stuff but it doesn’t align so i asked him if he wanted to just cancel it and he asked if cancelling it is something i wanna do and i said obviously no but i get if we can’t and he said then no we’ll do it cause he wants to but he’s one of those guys who he wants to pay for eveything so he doesn’t believe in going 50/50 cause he sees a mans role as the provider (which i don’t complain cause ik that’s his culture)
But yea so that was saturday so 4 days ago and today i tried to call and it said “announcement 803” and when i texted him on snap since we talk there a lot and he said it’s cause his phone plan wasn’t renewed so he doesn’t get calls (so *** he didn’t get to pay the bill) and we talked about how we we’re doing and all that and i told him i wanted to see him and he said “he doesn’t know when he can but he will try to free up time” so i was cool with it.
But idk i guess my thing is am i being impatient with him because i want to hear from him everyday and he’s just busy with work so i don’t hear from him everyday and stuff? or am i being a *** cause i keep pushing for it knowing he’s trying his best.
Cause my logic is he’s busy working not going about doing nothing, but idk. I needed to get this off my head.
I hear where you're coming from, catching up regularly is nice, makes us feel warm and fuzzy.. Unfortunately at the same time as we get older, responsibilities divide our time too.
Communicating daily is a bit unrealistic sadly, there just aren't enough hours in the day, and sometimes the tiny breaks we do get, is just nice to switch off, not feel obligated to anyone and enjoy a meal in peace.
For the times you do get together, maybe he'll let you compromise and get the drinks or starters, so it's less money or what I usually do is scout around for places that are doing a discount deal, so it's more reasonable value for money :)
thank you so much! I didn’t realize communicating daily isn’t a normal thing, because it’s portrayed by other people if i don’t hear from my s/o everyday then that’s bad
@happyaccidents24
Sometimes in a relationship things come up like a busy overtime type work thing and maybe other stresses on money since even with working a lot he is having an issue with phone bill?
Being patient is hard but this sounds like a contract not a forever situation. Maybe saving up what you would say and talking or text or however you communicate every couple of days gives you more to discuss and share sometimes talking every day is hard to keep the conversation going.
not connecting every day is OK and not a sign of something else.
thank you! i needed to hear and understand this from another POV other than my own, it definitely makes me realize i have to zoom out for a second
I don't think you're overthinking, it's totally normal to feel the shift when someone goes from giving you daily time to barely being around.
But looking at his situation, he sounds genuinely burnt out with work and bills. I’d say give him a bit of breathing room for now, but don't hesitate to drop a sweet check-in message. If he cares, he'll make an effort to reassure you even with a busy schedule..
thank you!! i’ll do this :D
i realize even tho i may be impatient i need to also leave space for him to breathe with all the pressure he seems to be under
