Anxiety from past issues with close family members (Dad/sister)

the 2016 will be the longest ones i believe but I'm talking a break for a little bit

2016 part 1

This was early January might have been the same week as the next story. Now my day-program was planning on going to Pickwick Mall in Febuary as an "outing" (It got boring sometimes being stick in the building for months at a time).

Now at this time, I was also doing bowling (On Mondays) did it from Sept 2009-March 2020 (league closed last year)-and at this point in time-Dad would drive me to (bowler's 1 house)to be picked up by Bowler 2, the league's sectary).

Also since I was in Gr.5 in elementary school (I was in a portable)-I always carried a waterbottle with me. By the time I turned 18.. I got so bored with water I didn't want to drink water anymore. Luna introduced me to drink mixes which I still use (not the same brand anymore but simliar stuff). So I would take 1 bottle to me for the part of the day at the day program, and then I would go home and put new stuff in to the bottle with fresh water.

Now I had planned on what I was going to get for lunch Manch Wok food and I was telling Dad in the car my plan and Dad was first "to get something under $5.00. My parents don't know "the vaule of money" but yet I knew that getting something under "$5.00" was impossisble unless I got air only/s

Now after the meal business was done talking about he then started "harking" about how I "should buy only water" or "Even better take your water bottle with you". I said with more swearingly proably that "I AM AN ADULT AND I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MAKE MY OWN DECSIONS"

And then Dad started making up B.S. stuff about what MOM does when SHE goes out. That Dad claimed that "Mom always gets water when she goes out" I been eating out with her since I was at least 4 years old and unless we're in a Chinese resturant-Mom is 100% to get ice tea. If we're in a Chinese (Or Korean) resturant- she might order hot tea intead of ice tea.

In January 2016-This might have been the week prior to the mall business if it wasn't in the same week. Now At the time I had been going to the gym for under 2 years- now because my parents wanted me to do the EXTRA excerise of walking to the gym and back sometimes I get so tired between walking back and forth and having to do excerise that I would take the bus to the train station and get another bus back home.

From home it was a 29 min to walk there and another 29mins back (Tuesday/Fridays) and on Wednesdays if I was coming from the church-it was a 32min trip there. And also I didn't go if it was suppose to be snowing because of something on a bridge which is litereally a slip hazard when icy.

Now at this time it wasa Tuesday and it was right after the hoildays (and when don't people get weight after the hoilday) and Aunt Flo had "just checked out" the day before.

Now on this Tuesday because of the fact it was suppose to be snowing on the Tuesday so I decided not to go and Dad was so *** about that after I had a shower and got dressed Dad barged into the bathroom with the scale in hand- and bullies me onto the scale.

And then at supper the conversation was like: "If you hadn't BULLIED ME" and Dad replying "I BULLIED you? You're the one that choose not to go to the gym!" Mom said "We (she/i) talked about this last night" Me: "I was talking about the SCALE" and Dad was "And what did we discover?" Mom said "I (she) wouldn't have done that" and Dad stormed off after I pointed out about the hoildays just ending and "Aunt Flo".

So during Covid I wasn't to happy about Mom making me step on the same scale and she wouldn't let me step on it myself because she has to *see* the number-before she can write it down. Because every single time she made me use the scale it reminds me of the January 2016 scale incident.

(Oh and Mom finally agreed with me about that Dad should'nt have done this either)

I mean what else was I suppose to tell Dad "would you rather I have a broken arm or leg because of having an accident in the snow because of the joints that connects the two ends of the bridges-are slipping hazards? The slipping hazards when its suppose to be snowing is the entirely the reason I stayed home" And he probably wouldn't have even listen in the first place had I been able to say ^

Next part of 2016. Now since 2013 until 2020 except for when the parents and I were on trips, weekends, hoildays and as of 2016 Fridays when I cooked- Dad would take over cooking the rest of the week (not counting on Mondays because I'm wasnt home for supper) and it would be some kind of combination of saguase/fish/some other meat + pergoeries/sweet potatos/potato wedges(more like potato chunks)+peas/cream corn or carrots+side salad by moi -we might get a break occasionally with soup, stew or chilli. Now Mom and I don't like having same things two days in a row. Oh and with Dad cooking so often it means leftovers like rice doesn't get used up from when Mom cooked Korean, or Indian food during the weekend.

Now if you remember I saw I tried to go to the gym three days a week-Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays. Now on Wednesdays I would take lunch to eat at my church so I was trying to pack my lunch and I notice Dad had a pot on the stove and it looked like chilli to me on the stove. Now my plan was (and I had wanted it to be a surprise) to have chilli on Friday so I didn't tell anyone. Dad who was up to do my hair- I tried to find out what he was planning to do with the chilli I was trying to find out if a)it was for his lunch or b)for our supper. I litereally asked: " "What are you planning to do with the stuff on the stove?" Twice he told me "it was none of my business"" So I litereally coming out and ask him if what he was making on the stove was chilli or not and when he said he was- it made me really upset and when I told him I had planned to make chilli on Friday he basically implied my stuff was "crap" by saying d to make chill on Friday-he then by what he said next he implied my stuff was crap. "You can still make chilli on Friday.. but my stuff will be better it wouldn't be from out of a can" So we ended up having on my night to cook Spinach Pizza and I had my *** heart set on making chilli on Friday

Now that night when Dad was going to serve up supper he wanted to use the leftover buns and when we just buns last night and Mom and I didn't really want them again so I digged around and found some rice container and made Dad use that instead of the bus- but I forgot to check the label and it was from January (that's what happens when Dad does most of the cooking stuff like weekend rice moves to the back of the fridge never to get used) so both my parents got mad at me about that. But luckly no one got sick though.

Feb 2016- during the time period that Dad would make supper the days I was home on the weekdays for supper - I was the one who had to make the salad (if Dad made it you end up with Lemon Juice on your Wardolf Salad). So this one day I was doing my job and I was taking the lettuce leaves off and since I had no where else to put them on the counter (not washed them yet)- I put then on the counter next to the sink.  Now as I was doing this Dad came storming in and yelled at me: "DON'T PUT THEM THERE ITS FILITHY!"   I can't recall exactly what I shouted back but it was something like "MOM DOES IT!"  Then Dad said "ITS A FILITHY COUNTER NEXT TO A FILITHY SINK!"  And shortly after this he was doing this B.S. claiming that his Mother-in-law (my maternal grandma) had gotten sick from "dirty lettuce" (even back then I know it was flithy chicken-which is ironic for a later story about Dad and I believed I tried to tell him that but he wouldn't listen).  Then he continued to scream at me  "This is why you will NEVER have a job because you don't LISTEN!" and then he literally threw the lettuce I had to the *other* side of the cutting board but that's side of the cutting board is still the "flithy counter" he's complaining about

I took my anger out on the other vegetables after I washed the said lettuce. The only time I was the grown-up in any of the scenarios while Dad was the one acting like a child and having simliar cows to the one he hates me having.

And also where heck um I suppose to put unwashed lettuce- on my head?/s

Early May 2016- If you remembered, I went to bowling from after Labdour day to Easter Monday.  The only time we had off was Canadian Thanksgiving and winter holidays (ie Christmas),  This particular year the bowing league (now closed) decided to have Family Day off (the first Monday in February)  so this was the first Monday I got home and I didn't have to rush to get ready for bowling since February.  I was hoping to relax and play on my computer  but I didn't get this luck.  Since as soon as I got dressed in my junk clothes and got settled at my computer Dad came storming up here told me what he's making for supper and he DEMANDED I made a salad that night- he didn't ASK -he just DEMANDED. 

Dad talking at my specialist part 1 (others will be under other years)

For as long as I can remember until 2016 with at least two exceptions-my Mom would take me to my specialist's. My Dad went with me at least a couple of times but unlike after I was an adult-he kept his mouth shut in those days. And once my sister (in university at the time) did (2001/2). For certain reasons when I'm at the doctor's -I have to have someone in the room because my PARENTS think "I might not understand" (this will come back later) Now I think 2015 was the last time that Mom took me to my specialist until this year. Starting in 2016-for the next 3 years Dad took me. As I mentioned in the theme park day of 2012- Dad has a thing about wrenching my arm off trying to get to the hospital through a traffic light

Near the end of the appointment was very embarrassing for me, Dad started "harping" (criticizing) that "She and her mother stay up too late" (I can't help I get lost in sims or other games) and then he tried to make the (false) claim that "ever since she (I) became an adult she likes to stay up late"

This claim is untrue and unfounded because at this time Luna, my sister still lived with us and at the time she would make me go to bed early (aka when she goes to bed) due to the claim I "make too much noise" but there's so much crap in this house that's its impossible NOT to make noise because no matter where you turn your bumping into some pile or other.

The only time I actually had a good excuse for staying up late was 2 years later when I had to help Mom with her bra when she sprained her wrist.

2018: 2nd-to-last time Dad talked at my doctor's appointment.

As part of my yearly routine at the specialist's -I have to get bloodwork at the hospital every time. Until recently-I didn't need to fast for it. Amway in the 2018-after doing the bloodwork in the morning and we're in the doctor's office. I forgot to mention earlier-that I only see the actually doctor near the end- his resident is whom I see more of. While when the resident is asking the usual questions-Dad speaks up to my annoyance and asks about my blood sugar levels. The resident said she didn't know but then after getting something(?) she did say she know-and my blood sugar was fine.