Anxiety from past issues with close family members (Dad/sister)

Dad "misuse of salad mixing bowl"

At the time of the story we only had one "Salad bowl" but we had plenty of other bowls. I think the main ones were Pyrex and then there was the Tupperware salad bowl. About five or six different times when Dad was going to make "potato wedges" (more like potato chunks) he kept using the Pyrex mixing bowl to add the spices, etc fully knowing that I needed to make the *bacon* SALAD in! And half of those times, Mom had to tell Dad off for using the "Salad mixing bowl". Yes Dad did wash it but he shouldn't have used it in the first place-when we had a lot of *other mixing bowls to use in the first place but nope, he STILL had to use the salad bowl

I think this will be my last post for the night and I can continue on tomorrow

Dad's cooking mistake 4: too little cheese; too much oil.

Three things you need to know 1. Beside as I mentioned earlier that not only does "Dad like a little food with his pepper" but he likes a "little food with his oil" 2. If Mom and I were making something that required cheese Mom would use a sandwich container or with me, I would use an old margin container to grate cheese into. And the 3rd thing to know is some Christmas before this Dad got me a "Kitchen Aid cup grater" so I could grate cheese into it.

Now into the story- I can't remember why I was in the kitchen for but whatever reason is that I noticed that Dad was grating cheese into the cup grater. And it seems he was trying to make a new recipe, a Cauliflower cheese casserole. I could tell just by looking at it that there wasn't enough it wasn't even 1/8 of cheese so highly unlike it could cover all of the casserole.

That night when we ended up eating, Mom couldn't taste (and i could barley taste) the cheese but what we COULD taste was WAAAY too much olive oil, what he needed was 1/8 olive oil, and about 99% cheese ie the opposite way he had it.

There was such little cheese on the casserole Mom was skeptical if there was ANY cheese in the dish at ALL. I waited until Dad had left the dinning room and told Mom that he had used my cup grater and had barley grated *any* cheese at all in the first place. When i told her that she agreed with me that he should have made a cheese sauce and also grated more cheese and also used a different container then the cup grater for something big like this.

2018/2019 Dad Burning Chinese Food

As part of Dad's cooking,  he sometimes doesn't know the right oven temperture to put it on. Except for 2 dishes, that we (Mom/I) don't have the oven on higher then 350,  unless we're making pizza, or making Sweet Potatoes which require a higher temperature. But most of the time when he was putting something in the oven (baked potatoes, or potato wedges), he would *always* sets the oven temp to 400. 

The first couple of times I tried to tell him he shouldn't do that but he would basically yell at me something like this: "STAY OUT OF THIS BUSINESS!"  So because he wouldn't listen to me,  I would have to go get Mom  because she will yell at him for having the temp too high.   Once we were going to have sweet potatoes for supper and as I was going by I noticed he had the oven on at 350  but this is the one time he actually could have it at 400.

Additional note before I get into the story:

Dad has this thing that if he's using the  kitchen timer (which he obviously doesn't know how it *** works-reference to another story) he does not take the timer into the family room with him but leaves the kitchen timer  So that if it goes off when he's in the family room someone has to go and tell him that the timer's off.   Oh and for the "guy who doesn't know how the timer works"  that something that drives Mom and I up the wall is that when he "stops" the timer he doesn't fully turn it off.- so it means when the next person who needs it, that we might have to clear off the flashing numbers counting up from when Dad "stopped" the timer. 

Actual Story

So in 2018/2019. we had Chinese food the previous week.  So the following week we would have leftovers from it and all that needed to happen is for the Chinese food to be warmed up.  Now I was going through the kitchen for some reason and I noticed that the oven was on and it said 400 and not only that but the timer was in the kitchen was at like 2:45 or more     I knew the temp was wrong but due to Dad's behaviour when I tried to speak up over times when he had oven temperature wrong.. I didn't speak up and also at that time,  I could tell the food had been in there for awhile

So by the time we actually set down to eat the food Chinese food was so burned that the brocllic was black. So because of Dad messing up-something that should have been SO easy to do, was screwed up by him over-cooking the food that only needed to be warmed up.   We couldn't really enjoy the food because he messed up.

(sometime before this on another warm-up Chinese food night)  that Dad somehow thought I knew how to warm up Chinese food , since he wanted me to do it once when he was sick)

Due to language issues growing up sometimes when I'm talking to my Mom-if I'm excited about something or I just want to talk about something that instead of sounding like this:  "I just want to talk about something"   I sound to Mom like a visually impaired 'person's screen reader on their cell phone, 

 in other words I sound like this:  "Ijustwanttotalkaboutsomething"  or  she thinks I'm saying one thing and I'm saying something else. 

Like do these miscommunication between the two of us,  that once I told her I had put the fan remote back its right spot for it in the computer room but Mom somehow thought I said something about milk, so we have nicknamed the remote the Korean word for Milk (y-uu).   

Last Week (Four Fridays before Christmas) , I had a bad fall coming home from work on a Friday and I'm bruised and scrapped on my knees and my left foot.  So I have been putting arnica gel on them but I was saying to Mom, last night that Thursday night was the last night of Hanukah, the Jewish festival of light,   But Mom somehow thought I was saying "last night of arinica" 

Sometimes Mom doesn't get all the words 

So in either case Mom makes me have to repeat myself and after more then 5 years of this,   I'm basically repeat myself by saying whatever I said VERY LOUDLY TO MOM THAT I'M BASICALLY SCREAMING IT.   

And if I'm doing this in the family room and Dad's in there as well after I'm YELL whatever it is I'm saying-  he's like "WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME"  but Mom didn't hear me the first time or else she wouldn't ask me to *** repeat it.   

One more cooking story before I get into minor things

Dad doesn't care about others' health  2013-2020.

Dad apparently likes "A little food with his onions" .  I don't know if this is actually the case, but I think when he tried to make Spaghetti sauce or chili I think that  Dad might have put the onions in last vs when Mom or I make them we put them in first because if you put onions in last it can give Mom's "problems" because its not cooked properly .   But what's worse is when we have the "potato chunks" he also cooks with them,  is pieces of onions and he might not realize it's cooks and that gives Mom "problems" the rest of the night.

Dad deadbolting screen/storm door 2007- 

At my house we have two doors. One is a screen door otherwise known at a storm door in some places.  Now our screen door has two locks one is a DEADBOLT so it means it does NOT HAVE A KEY TO IT,  and the other one is a lock which did have a key (don't know if there's a key to the new one or not)  but anyway.  And there's also is the inner door.    Oh and we got rid of our ring bell back about 2007.

My Dad has a habit of trying to "protect" family by deadbolting the door whenever he comes in or he might forget one of us (Mom or I) are not at home and he still deadbolts the door.   So if we don't have a cell phone- we have to go to someone (it was our neighbours next door but they moved this year) or to the neighbours across the street to have them call the house so Dad could come to the door to unlock it.     My sister or was it her boyfriend - described it once  "the house is locked up tighter then Fort Knox"

1st incident:

Once in summer  2007 when Mom had a sprained ankle - I was walking Caesar in the neighbourhood and Dad was out when I left but when I got back home the screen door was locked so I tried to knock on the door but no one could hear me so I had to go next door tp call.   But when I was able to get back in,  he said "you could have yelled, the windows were opened"   and Mom was like "How was she suppose to know? the windows weren't opened when she left"

Winter 2007/2008:

I think in the winter time of that same year I was doing my Catalogue delivery  (which I did back then)- and I got home and the door was locked.   So we had to leave a note saying "name  is out" or something 

In 2020 the day (Thursday) before the lockdown in March that  Mom was at choir practice and when she got home the screen door was deadbolted.  Dad claimed the "wind did it"  but that's a bunch of B.S.   So he took it over but by October the deadbolt was back on to Mom and my annoyance.   

In  2020 after I had went on a couple of trips to restaurants-like in July I went to Tim Horton's to get an Iced Capp (I think it was Oreo one)  but I also decided to get some Timbits as well.  In Sept when Mom went to her hairdresser again,  I went to the Dairy Queen and I got a Blizzard, but I also got an Iced  hot chocolate but when I told Mom the next day  she said "It was too much Calories" 

Well after that Mom and I decided I could go to a restaurant (McDonald's, Wendy's, Tim Horton's, Harvey's, and Greek-Canadian restaurant, two sub shops and whatever happens to fill a building on the main street of town near the church) when Dad isn't around  One November Tuesday after I had a shower- I looked out a window and notice Dad's car wasn't there.  So I talked to Mom about going to get a lunch from Wendy's.   

So before I left the house, I put a note on the inner door saying "not to lock the door" or "I was out"   I then went to Wendy's and when I got to the top of the hill where our house is, I noticed Dad's car was back.  So I checked the door-and the door was deadbolted- I didn't know where Mom was in her showering, or if Dad could hear me in the back of the house (where the family room is) so I banged on the door for a few moments.  Then I went to my then- neighbour's and as I was asking them to  call I heard my name being heard and saw my Dad walking out to his car and then back to the house.

Apparently what happened is that Mom heard me banging on the screen door and came downstairs and asked Dad if he had locked the door and hadn't realized I was out.   So Dad had to go and unlock the door for me.

And this has happened as recently as this Halloween -which was a Tuesday. We have an family who is Indian who lives across the street from us.   And i was doing Halloween door duty and it was about time to wrap up door duty for the night-and Mom wanted us to give some candy to the little six year old boy across the street,  and as Mom and I were getting ready Dad said that "This hour has 22 minutes" was coming on.   And mom said "she would have to miss a couple of mins of it" while she was helping me get up and down the stairs of the neighbour's house. (Never actually been on those stairs before).   When Mom and I got back home, Dad had deadbolted the door and the only way we were able to get back into the house was because we had one last group of Trick or Treaters who were teenagers and one had a cell phone we could use to call the house.

its just getting to the point where whenever Dad's outside- I want to deadbolt the door on him and when he has to go to a neighbour's or something to call into the house I can use use the same b.s excuse that he did "like the wind did it".   I have resisted every single time not to deadbolt it just its becoming really bad that the next time he's goes to "*** Tire" or something I will actually deadbolt the lock on him because I'm totally am sick of being "locked out of Fort Knox" all the time when I live here

2020-Dad forcing me to use the mixing bowls

In 2020 before the lock down,  In addition to my other lunches (mostly microwave cheese sandwiches or microwave chili) I added a new dish to the menu Ramyeon other words known as Ramen but I prefer the Korean pronunciation of it.  And I also tried to make once  a stove small mac and cheese for lunch.   

So whenever I have either ramyeon or (lunch) mac and cheese Dad would insist on me using one of the kitchen mixing bowls because he's afraid the pot is "more breakable" but according to Mom (who I know has eaten Ramyeon straight out of the pot) says the bowls he's makes me use are more breakable then the pot. 

Summer 2020- Parents blamed me for Dad not listening

In the summer time near August we try to get good corn to eat. On Fridays because its my day, to "cook" (in the summer, unless I'm making a big Taco salad, I'm not cooking much only doing a salad, and maybe peeling lettuce if we're having burgers)-and in the summer due to this "cooking" I always go into the pool earlier then I normally do (I normally go in at 5pm but on Fridays 4pm).   When I was getting ready to go into the pool- I asked Mom if we needed to get anything else ready for supper  and both the parents were in the family room where I was talking to Mom- about supper  but Dad's head was too far into the his notebook to pay attention to his surroundings.  This talk was at 4:30pm and Mom had told me "there was nothing else needed" for supper. 

About 6:45pm just as the hot dogs were about ready Dad's head got  unstuck out of his behind,  and he finally asked "what about the corn?" so that we had to delay supper by I don't know 5-10 mins because we had to get the corn ready.   

But my parents blamed me for "telling Dad to put the hot dogs on".  But is it really my fault when Dad couldn't be bothered to mention corn at the 4:30pm supper-related talk?  And since he hadn't leave any clue like the note we have "CORN FOR SUPPER"... the only notice we got about corn is when Dad asked about it almost at supper time.  (and 2 years later he got mad at me for "delaying" supper for chopping up carrots)

We will get back to cooking issues in a bit but here's some few minor inconveniences  with Dad also related to the kitchen

Dad's double standard part 1

Now my Dad always happens to leave a mess of his silverware and dishes that he uses for food. Like I can guarantee that about 99% of the time that if he had cereal/oatmeal for breakfast that by the time I get to doing the dishwasher at 1-2pm in the afternoon-the remains of the cereal/oatmeal is going to be "cement".  And not just is that cement but also the "cement" (aka PB) on the knife, because he has PB on toast as well.  Well he leaves the dirty knife on the "filithy" counter he complained about before.

Now back when I went to bowling so I had frozen dinners and also when I made a ramyeon for lunch I would need help with mixing the frozen dinners or getting the ramyeon from the pot to the bowl,  and despite the **** fact that I was going to be putting the SAME fork into my MOUTH - Dad always insisted on washing off the *** fork  because he "didn't want to leave a mess on  the counter" it would only be on the counter for 2-4 seconds  before it was going to be going into the dinning room with me to be put into MY mouth.

He did that with MY fork but he can't be bothered doing it with HIS knives that are dirty and are on a "flithy counter"

Dad's double standard part 2

My parents don't really like that I "use a lot of cheese" with my sandwich.  that once I think I had two kinds of cheese on a microwave chili dish.   And another time when I was using shredded cheese for a sandwich,  not only did I have the shredded cheese but also Cheezwhiz and either Cream Cheese,  or Five Cheeses dip,  and  Dad said "You do know these all cheeses?"   So what if I want to have a very cheesy sandwich sometimes? 

Now I don't think Dad has any room to talk about my eating behaviour because I know behind our (Mom and my backs) he sometimes eats up the big bags of Party mix and popcorn  bags.  Once on t Monday or Tuesday,  the week following when I made Spaghetti on Friday,  I found popcorn bits, and the only explanation is that because we didn't have them on Friday is that Dad was having a "snack" of popcorn at some point.

And also how is it fair, that unless its holiday, or we have leftover cake to eat up, or I'm "Mikey" (yes like the old cereal commercial) for Mom's mutant cookies that she bakes ,  that I don't get to have a snack except on Fridays but yet, I can find my parents having snacks of chocolate at night almost every night?  The only other time I could have chocolate as a snack is when I got home from bowling