Anxiety from past issues with close family members (Dad/sister)

Date Post 2008

Background:

Two things=the first because of the way we sit-Luna at the head of the oval table,  Dad to her left,  Mom across from Luna at the "bottom" and me to her right across from Dad-so depending on where items are on the table-like if its in front of me-its goes from me->Luna->Dad-Mom;  infront of Luna->Dad->Mom->Me; in front of Dad->Mom->Me->Luna;  and in front of Mom->Me->Luna->Dad.  We have called this moving of containers "the conveyer belt because it's basically what its like. 

2nd thing Due to my low motor skills for anything that isn't typing or unbraiding my hair-its sometimes difficult for me to get food from containers (Chinese food) or bowls (holidays-Christmas, etc),

Story:

I don't remember what year this happened but we're having Chinese food and we had noodles for one of the dishes I-been trying to help myself to the Chinese food, for some years by this point.. but I was having some trouble with getting the noodles out by myself with just a spoon- somehow in a flash-I stuck my fork (which hadn't been in my mouth yet)-into the dish and Dad had a complete cow about the "Fork being in someone's mouth" or something like that, but someone might have been Luna-pointed out that it hadn't been in my mouth- so as long as it hadn't been in my mouth,  I should be able to use it to you know have some leverage to get noodles/stuff in noodles out of the container.  

And ever since then we have forks in the noodles when we have Chinese food.  Only because I needed some help in getting noodles out of the container.

Years-from childhood-present

Background:

When we have hot food of any kind that have to be placed on the table (aka you know not on plates going to the table) , that because we're too lazy to use the trivets which we have (too complicated to bring down and some of them are clumsy)-we use pot holders instead

Main story

Most of my life when I have been able to move stuff on the table (ie "conveyer belt" mentioned in the last story- that when we have something like Chinese food-that I, like Mom move the Chinese food along with a pot holder..  vs. Dad and sister moving Chinese containers around without a pot holder- which means not only do we have to be playing "chess" with the containers, we also have to be playing "chess" or "conveyer belt" with the put holders as well.

Tonight was basically the only time my sister and Dad have actually moved Chinese containers with the pot holder in my entire life. 

Hi there,

I didnt Read all your story, only 4. You are a good story writer by the by.

I dont know if this helps, I just want to tell you that, sometimes parents they fail to understand what their children going through. We expect them to understand but only to disappointed in our selfs only. You can have a talk with parents about this. Sometimes they understand sometimes they take it as silly things. Cant blame them. Parenting is a though job. Okey try to not to be alone in life. I think i have gone through this and it lead me on to loneliness.dont go there. Try to fight with your self, try to fall in love with your self. Also give people some chance. 😊

After Easter 2021.

Background

Due to the fact we don't use trivets and also use pot holders.  We have an unsual way of dealing with our (standing up) gravy boat.  That we don't have a normal gravy boat that other people use like this->  but more like  a standing up one.   So we put that on a serviette on a luncheon plate and we pass it around the table

Main story

The day after we had our Easter supper, we were having our leftovers Dad who can sometimes be a blind as a bat even with his glasses on-after he had gotten some gravy INSTEAD of putting the gravy boat, back on the PLATE he had gotten the FROM,  he tried to put the gravy boat, by itself,  on a pot holder NEXT TO the GRAVY BOAT PLATE.    I'm was worried that if it actually got left on the pot holder it would spill gravy at least toward Mom, or something.   

So i panicked and said "PLATE!"  "PLATE!"  "PUT IT ON THE PLATE"  and Dad got mad at me and had a cow, and said "I DIDN'T NEED TO HAVE A COW"  and Mom said "You needn't have to have a cow either"

Easter 2022?

We had our Easter supper  on I guess Good Friday  with my sister and her on-and-off again boyfriend  and during supper,  sister's boyfriend asked if Mom was going to church that night and Dad tried to speak for Mom and claim  that "Mom hadn't gone in years"  which is a total B.S.

From late 1980s before I was born through to March of 2020,   that she was going to church and as of 2003,  she could be at church as late as 4 or 5pm in the afternoon depending on weather it was play practice or choir practice.  Basically the only time she didn't go to church outside of the pandemic lockdown  is during the summer.    At this point Mom was once again going to church for a couple of months.    

Additional story-Same day

Background:

Sometimes when my sister is here that she will be Dad's hairdresser so that sometimes it can be very crowded in the kitchen, if you have,  2 parents,  myself, my sister, and in this case my sister's boyfriend.   

another thing you need to know, if its not Chinese food being moved from the kitchen to the basement fridge, ie turkey holiday food, etc- that Mom needs a basket with handles to carry stuff up and down in and we have one of them in the basement.  

Another thing both the stairs going up to the 2nd floor (not counting the split off for the library) and the stairs going to the basement are both L-shaped stairs so halfway up or down there's a landing. 

Main story:

On the same day as the other story,  I was helping Mom clear off the table for supper  and she needed the green basket with handles and I got send down to collect it from the basement after removing Dad's stuff from it, I brought it up and put it on the kitchen side of the gate to the basement.   So that between the time I got the basket and when I returned downstairs for some reason, Dad had tried to he "helpful" and put the green basket on the landing. 

That Mom went to get the basket from where I had left it and said something "WHERE IS THE GREEN BASKET THAT WAS HERE?"  and there were three other people in the kitchen beside Mom and I, - Dad, sis and sister's boyfriend,   and Dad was like this back "HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO USE IT?"  

(My thought at the time:  How about *** asking before moving stuff?)

So once again I had to go and fetch the basket AGAIN and it's a pain in the behind trying to do that because I have to fiddle with the gates to prevent the dogs from getting places. 

some minor issues with Dad: 

Back before checks would be despot with just a bank card,  that you needed to sign your name on the check and I get a lot of checks due to Disability income.   Once Dad was taking me to  a day-program picnic  and we stopped to despoit a check,  and I only signed with my nickname, the way I had been signing for years-to the point I have forgotten to do the 2 additional letters that are not in the either my nickname for my full name or my last name either- I can do the 1 letter because its in my nickname. 

But Dad had a complete cow about me signing with my nickname and wanted me to sign with my full name but how can I do that when i haven't done that since I was I don't know 8-9 years old when I asked people to start calling me by my nickname?  He was having a fit because he was SO sure that the teller wouldn't cash it without my full name on it.

Well we're on the subject of bank related things.  I'm going to mention this.

Dad was with me when i was signing up for a my first bank card (and also getting me on my province's disability income).  Mom wasn't with us or anything but it was Dad's idea for my card NOT to have a ***** tapping feature.   But yet EVERY SINGLE TIME I GO TO A FAST FOOD PLACE WITH HIM (ie he drives me to get fast food)-He constantly either tells me to "tap" the POS machine  or asks if its trappable- if it wasn't for the fact the DQ, BK or Taco bell locations are too far out of my way to go on my own- I wouldn't need him to do drive me.   But he drives me crazy asking or telling me to tap EVERY SINGLE TIME.  

I have to mention a kind of funny story.  Back when Dad took me to my specialist in Toronto - one time when we're going to leave, Dad kind of hurried through the process of the Parking Garage and didn't realize he didn't get the ticket thing for leaving the garage.   So we had to go back to the pedestrians area and have Dad to it again and I had to instruct him on how to use the machine (and I don't even drive!)

Dad forgets rule HE put in place

Background:

There's only two things you need to know for this.  First one is Mom and I used to get for Easter hot cross buns to eat with breakfast.  The 2nd thing  you need to know is for lunches I use tupperware plates (I'm done to one plate and we used to have 3 other ones).

Story

So the story is that I was making hot-cross buns in the microwave for my breakfast I think it was on a Monday but might have been on a Thursday-well I mis-read Mom's note,  and I put the hot-cross bun on too high and I not only wrecked the plate (which was my favourite at the time) but I also wrecked the microwave.   Now Dad got a new microwave the same day and when he was talking to the rest of us about the employee at the store- the employee said that to "let it last longer"  that we should let it "air it out".

So Dad put that rule in place but its like Dad's head is a strainer or something because for last 10 years since then that you can bet, 5 seconds after you use the microwave he will close the microwave again.  That sometimes Mom has to literally YELL at him saying "Disney/I (Mom) had just used the microwave.   One time she yelled at him VERY loudly because she was stressed out because of dealing with 3 dogs and I had foolishly made hot chocolate and needed help to get over the gate near the hallway w/ the drink.  And as I was going up the stairs I heard Dad close the microwave and Mom yelling at him for doing that. 

Sept 2023 con't

Background

In Sept, Mom started being in the "old person choir" from the middle age choir  and in order to do that it means that Mom goes to practice on Thursday nights.  So that means Dad and I have a fend-for-ourselves night.   One other thing is I switch every other week- one week is mac and cheese, and another week is Rameyon. 

Story:

So Dad just drives me crazy trying to make supper at the same time that I'm trying to make supper. The only reason he drives me crazy because basically every other week.   I need the microwave to pre-cook some of my food and that means I have to stop the toaster oven in order to use the microwave or else we would have a fire.   The last time (not last week but the week before) we had a fend-for-ourselves night-that Dad came out to the kitchen were I was working and started "playing" with the food that was in the front of the toaster oven (pineapple, cantaloupe) we had gotten grocery shopping that day  and when I asked him what he was doing he said something like "NOTHING I"M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE NEWS".