Anxiety from past issues with close family members (Dad/sister)

Dad's 180 about inner door.

Background

As I mentioned earlier we have two doors one is the screen door and the other is the inner door.  Dad normally has a habit of locking the door every time we go out weather its just a 5-10 second walk around the park, or around the block, the 4 min drive to Dairy Queen, etc.   Sometimes if I'm going someplace like to a birthday supper for my friend "G" or someone else,  I might ask Mom if she wants me to lock the door but if she tells me know- back in the days before I had a fanny pack- I wouldn't take a key with me.  So that it kind of annoying when Dad drives me home and  I find Dad has locked the door and expects me to unlock it.    HE would even lock the door when Dad and I go play baseball in the park near us despite it being like a summer Wednesday morning which normally means Mom is going to the farmer's market and will be leaving "soon".   

Story

When Dad and I went to play our last round of 2 person  baseball in I think it was Sept - I asked Dad if we needed to lock the door and Dad was like "no"  and that totally baffled me because of the other times.  

a couple more stories about Dad then I'm might switched to a few more about my sister.

Story (don't remember the date). 

I do not remember what I was arguing about with my parents  and Dad told me to go "live in a group home that will drug you or call 911 on you when you act too much like a child".  I have study mental health first aid, and have read or listened to story about group homes and the only time 911 is called is when the person is threatening another person. 

2018(?)- Dad tries to throw me out of the house (he was sick).

Background:

Before 2021 Dad would go shopping on Thursdays or Fridays by himself.   And I been cooking some supper dishes on Fridays for 3 years by this point-chilli, mini-pizza,, and Taco salad during the summer.    One last thing he would be gone when I get up at 10am or later and he would be back at 11:30am.

Story:

What I recall it was a Friday and I don't remember what I was going to make for supper (probably mini-pizzas)  What I do remember is that we really needed something for supper- it was either Mushrooms nor it might have been peppers?-  and it kept getting later and later in the day and Dad still hadn't left do the shopping yet and I'm was worried (ie anxiety was settling in) we wouldn't get the item in time for me to make supper.   I think I might have bugged "Dad too much" and at some point he tried to throw me out of the house but I resisted. 

 I mean if he had at least told me he *** sick- I could have gone and gotten at least mushroom or bell peppers myself for supper from the local grocery store because that was basically our only option when Mom was still working supply teaching and was not contactable at the school.

Dad doesn't warm me about loud noises sometimes (on going issue)

Background:

Beside the fact I'm hearing of hearing; I'm also on the ASD spectrum as well  so that means loud noises are really difficult for me to deal with. Which is kind of annoying when Dad has something loud on like the leaf blower or the weed whacker on outside or with the old cordless house phones if he's talking too loud on them near me.   I have to close a door or a window to solve those problems sometimes.   If he has something loud on for "too long"  I get a headache from it.   

With the exception of the former janitor when I'm do my volunteer job at church related with the pews- if people are going to do something noisy in the sanctuary at the same time I'm there- they at least have the foresight to at least warn me about it.

Story

In 2021 I was in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher in a hurry when Dad turned the weed-whacker on outside in the back yard.  It really hurt my eyes to the point I didn't want to even continue emptying the dishwasher because all I wanted was to plug my ears.  Later when I  was in the computer room and Dad still had the weed whacker on and I think I might have been getting a headache so I went downstairs and tried to have a conversation with him about it about him NOT warning me about him turning something noisy on and this was like:

Me: "Dad you didn't give me a heads up about turning the weed whacker on and you know I'm sensitive to loud noises"  

Dad: "Normal people don't need a heads-up"

Me: "one, I'm not normal and second-I WAS IN THE KITCHEN WHEN YOU STARTED THAT"

Dad: "Shut up"

Recently Mom thinks I'm being selfish for (her words not mine) "wanting Dad to come in and warm me that he's going to have something loud on".  And when I complained last time Mom (rudely) said "You'll live"  Yet both of them know I'm sensitive to sound so how is it selfish for wanting to be aware of something noisy going to be on?

PS:  I know there's are ear defenders I use them for when I'm at the shooting range with my Dad.  But if i had them when Dad has the weed whacker, leaf blower or whatever loud thing is outside, I wouldn't be able to listen to music, or watch videos because I wouldn't be able to listen to such things with a ear defenders on.  I need something like a noise-canceling headphone for me to use for the times when Dad has something  loud on but my parents think that noise cancelling head phones are too expensive" 

Dad doesn't know where anything goes in the kitchen! ongoing problem

Background:

We have a ton of stuff-mixing bowls, pans and pots just to name a few kitchen tools in the kitchen. We have four pots that we use for peas (smallest0 to water for pasta (biggest).  Two of the pots-pea pot and the 2nd small pot which I use if I'm having ramyeon for lunch and the other two pots go over near the bookcase in the kitchen.   We have so many mixing bowls I can't even count. how many we have like at least 8 mixing bowls.

Story

it always seem if on night 1 if I or Mom has used the 2nd largest pot to make something that if we're aren't here the next day 9 out of 10 times you will find the said lid to the pot  being in the cupboard with the 2 smaller pots. There's been an occasion or two where Dad might have put one or both small pots with the 2 larger pots.

And back with the old salad bowl that if he needed to get PB from the cupboard -I always found the salad bowl later on the same self as the normal mixing bowls and that drove me nuts.   

And I got my own set of straws Christmas of 2020  and one time after I used one of them because Dad has a habit of "flinging stuff all other the place"  he put the one straw into the kitchen too utensil drawer.   Another time Mom was going to make fritters (think a distant cousin of the Jewish Hanukah dish latkes)  and in order to make them she needed a part for the food processor and she couldn't find it due to "Dad flinging stuff all other the place"- that Mom even intercomed me asking if I had seen (part)- but they did find it in the pile of mom's oven gloves on the stove.

He doesn't just fling the kitchen stuff-he once flinged the Cheese-it crackers Mom had gotten because he thought I would have a fit about them being "in the way of my pop"  but there's a different between a big box being in the way and a small box.

But with the kitchen stuff YOU SHOULD KNOW WHERE IT GOES?!!!

Dad keeps putting stuff in the view of my pop shelf

Background:

The only  three  things you need to know here.  One I have a whole row of shelf to myself in the basement for my pop which I drink once a week and I "like to see all of the op at the same time" whenever I go down to the basement.  Second is Dad like to get jumbo boxes of Cheerio cereal.   3rd thing- Due to certain rodents (*cough* Cinderella's friends *cough*)  being in our  basement and eating our stuff so we have to  have some of the food in the basement be in storage containers.

Story

A lot of the time I will go to the basement both before and after I started helping Dad with the shopping and Dad would constantly leave something  (normally giant Cheerio boxes) in the view of my pop shelf and I really hated it. That I became passive-aggressive about it by throwing it on top of the potato sack in the basement just for 5 days later for it to reappear in front of my shelf again.  My parents don't understand what the big deal is but with how big those boxes are that if I needed orange, lemonade drinks I would need to ask for help and  that would take away something that makes me feel like a grown-up.   

Dad talking problems

1st. Dad historical stuff

Background:

Three  things you need to know for this story.  One both my parents were history teachers who taught in high school Dad taught full time when Mom only supply taught outside of LTOs.  I got my love of history from them.   2nd Near our home there's a house-museum I only been in the house museum 3 times now- once on my own and once with Mom and then recently with both Mom and some other church women.  But Dad likes to talk our ear off about any new historical information he founds despite not working anymore (for 10 years now)

Story

Mom and I were at the house-museum in May with other church women it was quite interesting despite being there before I still learned some new stuff.  Anyway the following day when Dad and I were working in our garden- I was talking to Dad about some of the stuff I had learned from the house-museum and Dad was like "I don't care, I don't teach history anymore".   But I found that quite rude when I have to daily or at least once a month  put up with him talking to me about history constantly 

2nd and last story Dad takes a *** age to stop talking to people

Story

No matter where we go Dad will take about 20mins it seems to talk to someone anyone anywhere we go and it gets really annoying if we have other places to go to.   Like once we took a walk and we're on the hill in the park and he stopped to talk to a neighbour who lived on the other side of the fence and since my legs were hurting at the time- I didn't want to wait for Dad to stop talking so I just went off home and he didn't even notice that I had gone and he didn't return to the house until a half-hour after I had left.

Dad throwing a fit over sugar cereal

Background:

The only things you need to know here is 1. I don't have a lot of experience with sugary cereal the closet I got to eatting them was when I was about 4 years old with the cereal snack pack when i went camping with my parents and Luna, the only other time was I was 10-11 years old when the only thing I might eat for breakfast would be the Nesqik cereal.  At Mom's parents' place I could have Rice krispe cereal  but Dad's Mom place had 'boring' cereal  (cornflakes).   The 2nd thing is I'm helping Dad shopping in the story

Story

Dad and I had been in a Costco store to get stuff for the house and when going up and down the aisles I found it interesting that the store had at the time, Giant Nesqik Cereal boxes.   When we got back in the car and went to our next stop-I mentioned "that I found it interesting that Costco had Nesqik cereal" and Dad went on a huge rant of "how are these sugary cereal should be banned"   (Like does he remember being a kid at all?) .  This was the 2nd time he went on such a rant because a previous time I had found it very interesting and in a way funny because a certain American cereal " Trix is for kids" seem to be popping up all over the place in my province - and its only funny due ot the fact that in 2019 or 2018 that the leader of the Bible camp had been looking EVERYWHERE for Trix cereal and couldn't find it all.   And when I mentioned that to Dad he had a rant about it then too. 

I think this is going to be the 2nd to last story about my Dad:

Dad thinks someone will walk off with my new coat at church (Feb 2023)

Background:

Only two things you need to know here.  One I got a new (but pre-owned) coat in either late Nov or early Dec-Mom had thought about giving it to me for Christmas of 2022 but she decided to give it to me early but I didn't wear it until Feb of this year.   Second thing is sometimes Dad and I go shopping on Fridays instead of Thursdays.

Story

I don't remember the reason but Dad and I did the shopping on the Friday in February and for some other reason which I also don't remember I decided to go to my volunteer job on Friday as well so Dad would drop me off at the church on the way back and Mom would help him get the stuff inside/away.   Well by the time I was going to leave the church it would be really cold so I would need to wear my new winter coat.  So because some of the grocery stores are in "bad" neighbourhoods that Dad had us hide the winter coat in a garbage bag.  And then half the time driving in the car Dad was so Obbessed that he was "sure someone was going to walk off with my new coat* that I needed to keep it in the church sectary  office"  

There were like only 3 people at the church beside me: Office Sectary,  the newish minster of our church, and the now old janitor. 

*Someone at church accidently walked off with my full backpack once in I think 2014 but that was a totally different scenario.

Last story involving my Dad and also involves Luna as well

Nov 2021 too much noise in the library

Background:

The only three things you need to know are the following:.  First Dad has the liscenced fire arms we can own here in the computer room so when he's "playing with them" (ie putting them away/getting them out)  it can get noisy in here.   2nd thing in Nov for several years I been trying to do Nation Novel Writing Month.  Third things is when Dad and sister are in the room I can hear a muffled version of whatever the two of them are talking about.

Story

In Early Nov 2021 Luna was down to help Dad with some stuff before his appointment to have something put into his wrist. As put of the job he had to put away our guns and stuff that we had used at the shooting range. So all day I had to hear thump, thump, thump,  of Dad putting stuff away.   It was bad enough having to hear that,  but what really got me over the age was hearing two voices behind me and I was already distracted enough with just the thump which isn't good when I was trying to work on my NNWMo novel.   That as soon as I heard my sister's voice I went downstairs and had a complete cow with Mom about too many distractions in the computer room.  She said I could have the computer room after supper but in the mean time I wrote a bit on my Dad's then-notebook.  

But guess what happened after supper?  One is that Dad continued to be in the library and then after that about 11:30pm my sister (who like Dad has a loud voice and seems to like to use the speaker phone)- came up here and talked, and talked so I  decided to go to bed early, and by the time it was 12:30am its when sis finally got off her cell phone.

But I was *suppose* to have the computer room to my self after Dad was done in there but I ended up not getting it that day or night which still pisses me off a  lot.   It pisses me off as much as Mom not telling me the same day that if Dad *does* survive his surgery (which he did) that "I would be required to help Dad out for awhile with grocery shopping"  I didn't learn that until the Wednesday before  we're suppose to go shopping-it got dropped on me like a water balloon. 

From here out I'm going to talk about my sister and I can start with a big one