Better me?
Ever since our break up (I caused) 2 months ago and after therapy and meds ,I see clearly for the first time latley exactly what she did and ment to me more then whilst together....i may look better but hurt so much more because of that clearty, and guilty feelings are so of the chart ive been close to suicide many times (still do)
Lately ive been seeing her more (thanks to our youngest inviting me for coffee) I see what ive done and know the pain ive caused making it hurt even more.....i want to help her so much ! Hold her so much more! And over whelmed with guilt and anger I just dont know what to do! I can only wear the smiley clown make up for so long !
I just ..... i dont know ....... i love her more than anything and destroying us / her has destroyed me ...... I dont know what to do ,I just needed to vent
Sorry if I bothered you all x
@DaveTones
Have you told her? Sometimes telling the person in a sincere and clear way how you feel and what you regret gives you both peace.
I know it takes time to reflect on what happened and she may not be ready to hear it. I think real communication and taking responsibility for any mistakes or missteps that happened. It may not fix things but give you both things to think about whatever happened.
Hi @toughTiger6481
We talked about a week ago...
Well I talked .... told her everything from my heart, wasn't easy to say, or easy for her to hear (I know this) she's taking it hard understandably, I told her if and when she's ready to talk even at 3 am I will go over and listen (I probably won't like what she will say but I deserve that)
I recommended 7cups a while ago and today she joined (even just to rantand get stuff iff her chest like i do here).... I told her my user name so she can decide to block or read my threads etc, her choice ...... she will always be my 'dróttning ylgr' and I just want to help but not being able to at this point I feel so helpless and guilty (I know its deserved)