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Break up

User Profile: Oma995
Oma995 June 21st, 2024

Hey there!  I hope you all doing well 

I was in a long-distance relationship for nearly a year. We had some amazing times exploring new cities every 3 months we were a lovely couple,but we also argued over small things. I expected his attention after work, so it bothered me when he replied late . We made a promise to avoid such issues,

. He made it so many times i noticed him that i don’t like it it made me unhappy when i just want all his attention. 


after i finished work i need all his attention if he respond me late or hanging out with his friend made me angry , ( just to understand we did a promise any stuff will run our relationship we should avoid it) , last time he slept through my call, which upset.

After that night he texted me in the morning but i didn’t respond him 

I waited for an apology or more messages, but nothing came. 

After 10 days, I texted him to fix it  and suggesting I visit his city to sort things out, but he refused. 

Even after giving him space for another 7days, he still wouldn't forgive me. I tried apologizing multiple times, but he insisted it was better to end things to avoid future pain. 

He told me to text him anytime to offer his support but I couldn't accept. 

I ended up blocking him on social media to ease my hurt. 

I did a mistake by texting him mom and shared with her ou problems , she really loves me and want to fix it .

The most hurtful things is i woke up every day thinking about visit his city surprising him in his house , without caring about my job .. i can’t control my self i just want go to see him and fix all that , even we will not come back but i feel that i really need to see him i know that he won’t see me. 


Please i need your support and advices to me 🙏🏻🙏🏻

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 June 21st, 2024

@Oma995

we all would like our bf/ partners  full attention.............. but this should NOT be a reason to get worked up... the idea  of  "if an issue would possibly cause an problem avoid it"    is not really a workable item in a mature relationship either... 

This is a maturity thing...

He slept thru and missed a call or text... it happens....

that was not a reflection on you ........it was he was tired and  ASLEEP............. asking for an apology for that seems very self centered and after the break of 10 days he may have decided this situation was not worth all the drama.   To text his mom  was not a good move in my opinion  like what did you expect her to Force him to see you?       

1 reply
User Profile: Oma995
Oma995 OP June 21st, 2024

So, let me put it this way: I have this amazing bond with her. She called me and i noticed that she thought we were over. That's when I chose to be upfront with her and express my true feelings. I know that I acted immaturely towards him. I genuinely care about him, but I struggle to accept his choice. It feels like this issue shouldn't be a reason to part ways, especially considering we've tackled even more complex problems together.

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User Profile: EnlightenedArtist
EnlightenedArtist June 21st, 2024

Hi @Oma995✨ Can you take a moment to breath and to feel everything that you are feeling now…? 

We all take different decisions in our relationships, what works, what doesn’t… and there is something very important that you are sharing with us here: you asked him about his attention and told him how important that was for you. Did he listen? Well, if he felt chose to sleep instead of texting you or call…? Is that the relationship you want? You apologised, but your feelings weee hurt… why apologise? You talked to the Mother… I don’t know how it works on your culture but I feel that involving a third person on a couple relationship is not a good idea…

take care of yourself. All this attention that you are giving a person that does not want to be with you now, turn it to yourself

Not just a new hobbie, but maybe some “hard work” the lawn, clean your windows, rearrange your room… give yourself time to yourself 

You did not do anything wrong
You are very valuable
You deserve to be loved the way you are asking for 
2 replies
User Profile: Oma995
Oma995 OP June 21st, 2024

I finally found someone who truly gets me, and I believe I deserve his attention.

I admit, I slipped up when I spoke to his mom, but I can't help myself. I don’t have control,Any tips for me? Every morning, I wake up yearning to find a way to see him in person and have a heart-to-heart . Is this normal !?

1 reply
User Profile: EnlightenedArtist
EnlightenedArtist June 21st, 2024

Yes, you are allowed to feel all this feelings @Oma995 ✨

He suddenly left… and now you want a space to clarify and to explain and to talk to him but…He chose to leave - for whatever reason, respect this please and re-focus on yourself 

Why are you feeling this “need” to talk to him to see him, to fix it…? What is your attachment style? Have you read that book? I highly recommend it, it will help you to know yourself better.

it sounds that your brake up is recent, hence all of this intense feelings… as I previously said: allow yourself to feel them, allow that what is happening now in your life shows you how you are, what you really need…

Give yourself some time✨

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User Profile: jetm0t0
jetm0t0 June 22nd, 2024

My first relationship lasted a year too. So it made it pretty hard to move on, some days I literally wouldn't move or go outside. 
I would suggest to change your focus and definitely go outside! It also sounds like a long distance relationship and that's hard to keep. I dated a girl on the exact opposite side of the world. I worked a night shift and she would call me at noon, which was horrible for my sleep but I still stayed up to talk to her. I hope if I was in his situation there would more forgiveness if I were to fall asleep on the phone, because it's a natural thing to fall asleep and I almost did at times when I was dating. I hope that helps and keep looking ahead, there's plenty of ways to re-direct your life.