Broken trust…. Advice please

Hello. This may be long, sorry. I have married to the love of my life, forever it seems. Wouldn’t change it for anything. We have had some rough patches. Verbal abuse has been around for many years, off & on. After a while, it eats away at your self esteem. My marriage means the world to me, but the verbal abuse takes a toll. I have had suicidal thoughts, an eating disorder as well. I know my husband loves me but many times I have felt alone & not appreciated. That with the verbal abuse, it made me very depressed. Earlier this year, a loved one passed away. That put me further into depression. I felt numb a lot. Being a mother, it made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough. So I tried to push thru it. I finally did online group therapy (here Infact). I ended up being friends with two people. At first it felt nice & lots of support. Then I made the mistake of getting too close to one of them…. A man. He was my friend but I was liking him a bit more than I should have. That scared me because I only wanted to be his friend & I love my husband. He was nice to me, at that time & it felt really nice. He was filling a void I had. Not a romantic one or sexual one. Just a “he isn’t yelling at me & he actually wants to talk to me”. It was like a drug. Not proud of myself for it but that’s what it was like. Never love or sexual. Just a lonely woman who felt important again. He started flirting & I should have stoped talking to him then, but I didn’t. It made me feel attractive & it almost felt like a fantasy. Because we didn’t know each other “in the real world”. Just online & by phone. Stupid now but that’s exactly what it felt like. Then he kept pushing to meet me. I kept saying I don’t know maybe sometime. I had no plans of doing so, but I was naive about it. Then he said he had feelings for me. That’s when I told him , again, I only wanted to be his friend. He didn’t like that & I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore, because it was becoming more for him than it was ever going to be for me. Then he threatened me. I got scared, change my number & then frantically text my husband I had changed my number. I wasn’t thinking clearly in that moment. As soon as he got home from work, I told him what happened. It hurt him because he didn’t know I had this guy friend. I said I felt bad I had hurt that guy, because at that time I felt like it was all my fault & now I know it was just me being confused. I said I felt bad I hurt my husband too. It was rough. That was a couple of months ago. I was only friends with that guy for a couple of months. Only a handful of phone calls & texts. Most convo was online. I didn’t tell ALL the details to my husband right away because he was so angry (calling me names & yelling). That was a mistake. He kept pushing for me to tell him everything & I eventually did. I have nothing left to tell him. He has it in his head, that I met this man & we had sex. That never happened. Never even met the man. I understand I broke his trust. That it was out of character for me. Never had guy friends since I have been married. Every day or at least every other day, I’m interrogated. He has implied several times I had cheated & met this man. He has said he can’t look at me the same, implied I was lying about everything now. I have told him everything & he still thinks more happened. I’m not a bad person. I made one mistake because I was lonely. I never met this man or cheated on my husband. I just want to know what I can do to get him to trust me again. I won’t ever give up on him or our marriage. I have stayed thru hard things he put me thru & I plan on staying forever. Any advice on how I can handle this & what can I do to get him to trust me again? I love him & am willing to do the work to fix things.