Can you be in a good relationship with 1 person, and still have feelings for another?

@bubbleTriangle2838

I am sure you will get many answers but my view is...... YES.....

I think of it this way often a partner can not be everything with us... perhaps they have different interests and in a long term thing ..... couples often grow and change at different rates...

Having a person whom you can share your interests that a partner has no interest...  or be there for you emotionally  if partner is not an emotional person......... even intellectually i have someone i discuss / debate  points of view as partner never wants to discuss real ideas just nods like they agree and does not challenge opinions and thoughts.     

    It can easily become where you develop feelings for one of these types of friendships. It does not always become a situation. OR it can enhance your relationship as i have some needs met and not being mad partner can not meet my everything. 

Too many IMO FEAR  it would lead to something so you should never have these friendships. So i guess that means whatever is missing with a partner is parts of you that a person should abandon or suppress.... and feel empty and then wonder why so many relationships fail.

I know this is possible for some people because I have experienced it. Several years ago I developed an intense crush on someone else while still happily married. I did not pursue it because I made a choice to remain faithful to my husband, but the feelings were still there. I have been reading a lot about polyamory lately and at least theoretically it makes sense to me that you could connect with different people in different ways and still value them all.

If your partner is well developed and truly loves you, they should view jealousy as far beneath them and as long as your relationship stays healthy and meaningful, they should grant you permission to do whatever ensures your optimal well being, as long as you are open about it.

You are not a fixed pie, meaning, if you love someone else, that doesn't mean there is less love for your partner. If your partner is happy with the relationship, and you engaging romantically with someone else doesn't reduce this satisfaction, there is no problem. And if there is true love between you and your partner, you can both rest assured that you'll come back after giving in on your urge to love someone else. 

Of course this is a highly progressive take, and most people have learned through watching soap operas that you should immediately end the relationship if there is someone else involved. I ask you though, would you take such actions if you truly loved your partner? If they truly make life heaven for you?

@bubbleTriangle2838,

I think you can. 

However, if it leads to transferring the emotional connection you have with a partner to someone else, and you simply can't/ won't let go, it sooner or later will destroy the relationship with your partner. Especially when you're not open and honest about it.

Above scenario happened to me. My wife got emotionally close to someone else. She would deny and keep on putting all her energy into someone else. It destroyed our marriage. 

@bubbleTriangle2838

Well, considering some people are successfully pansexual, or in open relationships I'd probably say okay, yes.

Even though I don't maybe don't always fully understand such relationships or gender identities sometimes and experience fears and doubts around such things who am I to project that on others and say who someone should be with, who someone should be?

Who am I to claim all knowledge and assume I know all? If I'm so crazy as to believe that it's up to no one but me to sort that out with the many resources, tools and skills available today, and if needed recieve the help to overcome that or protect others and myself from my self.