Complete mood change.
Hello friends, been a while since I've posted, as I had believed my problems had been solved. But here's another one for you.
My wife of 3.5 years, and partner for 10, has recently had a complete change in behavior.
We had been having marital problems that had driven many issues in between us, she had been picking on our now five year old son, and just being generally rude to him. She had also stopped taking care of herself, brushing teeth, taking showers, etc. She's now doing a little better with that, but now she's made a comment, and a coworker of hers has made a comment, that really bothered me, but before I continue, some more back story.
When we had began dating in high school, it lasted about a year, then she had cheated on me with another man, I left her, and we were separated for almost two and a half years, we reconnected, and rekindled that flame, years later, here we are.
Back to the present. We had originally been joking around, saying some playful things that typically don't end in a fight, well, in the middle of it, she got stone faced, and said that I'm "better than the alternative". Which left me confused, and just felt off, but I brushed it off and continued about my day.
So about a week ago, she was running late for work, so I packed mine and her son into the car, and we left. She made it there on time, but our son said he wanted to go in and say hello, so we did, and ordered some food. While we're waiting, one of her coworkers approached, asked who I was, and she introduced me as her husband. Her coworker then says "is this the one who bought your son those pokemon cards or was that the other-" and sort of trailed off.
To make my anxiety even worse, she has been texting another coworker very frequently, and it all just feels a bit odd that she texts him so frequently.
Am I being paranoid about the past? Are there any red flags to anybody else? I'd like some outside perspective here.
Thank you in advance.
@anonyMoon878
I think you should talk to her and in her "better then the alternative" comment meant .... i see so many who guess at what did this or that mean then waste time in fixing anything until the problem grows.
The comment from the co-worker is odd too... if you had a situation before did you ever figure out Why? If texting with a co-worker is a problem find out why? ....then fix it ... how long has it been for you to be flirty and make her feel attractive/ wanted and appreciated. This is something people NEED not just while dating and the excuse "we are married have kid and work and lives she know i feel that way" .... how does she know?
for example i could have deep conversations with a co-worker about things that interest me and spouse was not ever interested or did bobble head nod .... So I told him "I can talk for hours with John and you do not ever keep track of what I said ." A simple statement and he saw and started to put down him game or turn TV down and LISTENED, really listened not head nod and "uh-huh" and then say "later you never told me that" etc. I would nod my head like a bobble head gone crazy repeating uh-huh until he GOT it.
You're absolutely right in saying we should communicate more. We disagree in what happened back in high school, although, I do agree with her that I was very harsh back then with my words, and since, I have refined my way with words as to not be that way.
No resolve ever came of that, unfortunately.