Constant rejection has crippled my love life
Over the past year, I've had not a small amount of failed attempts at getting successful connections, even if I thought there was potential.
It's gotten so bad to the degree that I have felt unattractive and even repulsive, regardless of what I do with my physical image. Maybe I'm too much of the archetypical "nice guy", even though that term has unfortunate implications associated with the despicable incel world.
The ironic thing is that if I don't meet anyone, I'm plenty satisfied with being single. But once I meet someone I'm attracted to, with whom I see potential development, it absolutely dominates my thoughts. I've been told that this "projects neediness which is unattractive", but I'm often so unaware of how my actual behavior shows this, and by then it's too late.
Please spare me any words you have on how to "project more confidence" because I've heard it all. All I really want to do is re-find my center to be satisfied with single life again. Maybe that involves social isolation, but if you have any advice that doesn't involve such, feel free to share.
Hi, sorry to hear that you have had a tough time finding meaningful connections.
It doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you. Sometimes we just don't find the right people for us. 💛
Glad to hear that you're satisfied being single because at the end of the day, you need to have yourself and know how to hold your own hand. However, connections also help us grow and give us a shoulder to lean on. This connection may not be just with a partner.
I can relate to you on many levels! I have been told about the 'neendiness' thing too. In myself, I realised that it was because I used to find people after so long that I kind of started relying upon them. They became my world but that put an extra pressure upon them to be a certain way. There should be a balance which is hard to find but we eventually do. And of course, with right people it gets easier! Because they don't give up right away.
I can't give you an advice but this tip may help. Probably try to find people with similar interests and those who truly help you grow. You may not need to isolate yourself and still feel someone who's there for you in your good and bad times.
Even if you're not prepared for an emotional connection right now, you can still try to have some company. Someone who keeps you focused on the things you love to do and feel light.
Hope everything works out for you! 🎈
I'm just a text away if you need someone to talk to. Also, you can join forums and member community room here to talk to other people.
Sending positive vibes your way!
Ahh I know exactly what you mean. I come of needy and desperate too, but have been fine single. I think the dopamine overload and testosterone increase when we are with someone overwhelm our frontal loves and we come in as needy.ugh it sucks
Try reading about attachment theory, you might be one with anxious attachment. At least I am and I'm facing same problems u described. I haven't fixed them myself, only thing I can say I feel u bro.