Dad was a moron twice yesterday
So Dad was a moron twice yesterday. He had been out for most of the afternoon to try to find a shelter design that looked "right" for the over 21 years old base in the backyard. When he got home-the first thing he did was have to come up here to talk to Mom who was filling out the Disabled Summer Camp application for this year and he knows I can't listen to anything when he's up here. I was trying to finish Tuesday's Disney movie i didn't finish on Tuesday (Splash) so I told Dad rudely to get out of the library so I could finally finish the movie.
Then that night I was getting the drinks out -milk and water jugs out of the fridge and because of the junk from Dad's late friend's place that there's very little room to move around the kitchen. So as I was getting the jugs out of the fridge- Dad has to be standing right in the path I need to get into the dinning room with the empty baked bean container in his hands and he was staring at the TV like he always does. I had to again say rudely to "go sit down so you aren't in my way" or something like that. It's just so annoying when Dad is blocking my way either when I'm trying to pour drinks or when I'm trying to clean up after supper- and he can't you know move a couple of feet to the left or even better if it's after supper go sit down in the family room and watch whatever he's memorized by!
I recommend reading "Your Erroneous Zones" by Wayne Dyer. It sounds like you may function from an external locus of control, which allows others to influence your emotions. Moving to an internal focus of control might help you feel more at peace with your father when he does things differently from what you would prefer.
The problem is that our sphere of influence is small. We can't control what people say, do, or think, or what the weather is like, or what happens tomorrow. All we can control are our actions, words, and reactions in this present moment.
It seems you'll continue to become frustrated by your dad's actions until you learn to stop being influenced by them. That being said, I don't know if there are any wounds he's caused you, and I'm going based solely off of your post. It may be that you need more in-depth healing.
Wishing you the best,
M
@TheGentleOakListens
I have a huge list going back to 2001 with him. And some of them also involve my older sister who doesn't live with us.
2001: Dad timed me in the shower-i had just switched from baths to showers and Dad thought I was taking "too long" for showers and every time Mom was out and I was having a shower Dad would turn on the "crazy timer" that was in the bathroom for other reasons and it "timed" me having a shower so because I been trained to have "short" showers it has caused some friction with the other parent-Mom because I will occasionally accidently leave soap somewhere.
2003: Two things here.. this was the first year I got to walk home from church by myself. But ever since then I became "Mom's unofficial sectary in and out of the house" with Dad. He will ask me "Where's Mom?" and she was either at choir practice or play practice. The other thing is Dad would constantly ask me "if I had eaten yet" and back then outside of 3 times a year when lunch was provided, there was only like small snacks to eat-grapes, cheese, maybe some banana bread, and for the children: cookies as well as tea and coffee for the adults, and juice for the children or those adults who didn't drink tea and coffee
and there's lots more I can talk about and have already talked about
