Disturbed by Thoughts
Hello.
Somebody minorly wronged me. We had hung out once and they invited me to a few things. I asked them several more times to hang out, and they always had excuses to push it off to another time without giving a concrete date/time.
This last time, they said they might, if another plan didn't pan out, essentially saying I'd be their backup plan for that night. I got slightly upset about this in our conversation (it was over text, I just asked rather stern questions about what their availability meant and when we could try to schedule again) and they ended up not responding or contacting me for the next few days.
I jumped to the conclusion they have been lying about wanting to hang out with me again for the past three weeks. They want the attention of me asking, or are afraid of telling me - who knows. This infuriates me. It's not easy for me to ask somebody to do something with me, and getting a rejection hurts every time.
Now, I want to emotionally hurt them. I want them to think I despise them, but not to know why, or never get that confirmation that I even think about them. I want them to talk to me about it and I tell them all is good and nothing has changed. I want every interaction they have with me to be stressful.
Thinking about this, emotionally abusing this person, is the only thing giving me motivation to move through this. I already have concrete plans on what I'm going to do tomorrow.
The entire situation is so deranged for me. Why did I care so much about this person to where being lied to hurt me so much? Why do I feel like I know for certain they were lying? Why do I want to hurt them? Why can't I just be normal?
@littleWater1786
first of all you are not alone.... It is frustrating...to be treated like this and perhaps they like you to continue to ask to hang out.
We would like others to learn how it feels especially if they hurt us ... many people may have some thoughts of hoping the other person had this happen to them.
Usually there are things that may make us question if they say was a lie etc. and sometimes we are mad at ourselves if we believed in a lie told to us...... so all in all you are normal ...... thoughts of wanting them to hurt like you...... just gives them rent free space in your thoughts.... ask yourself if they are even considering what you are feeling.
Hello. We had talked this out. They noticed I was not happy with them and I told them why. I thought things got ironed out, but when we ended up hanging out again they didn't seem like they wanted to be there. They also seemed utterly uninterested in any conversation the next day. I told them how that made me feel and then they gaslit me and told me I'm expecting too much and that they don't like that pressure.
@littleWater1786
if you see the gas light decide that you are worth more and move on.... that is by far the best revenge as you chose to not accept their bs anymore
That's what I plan on doing, but last time I tried ignoring them, they got upset at me
@littleWater1786
Getting upset or mad with us often is another form of being gaslit.... it is OK for others to be upset with us or not making nice with everyone...sometimes our boundaries and what we will put up with ...
You are your own priority .........and when we give the idea of "well they will be upset or mad" we are punishing ourselves for Their behavior.