Engagement over
My fiancee and I are going through a rough patch. She ended things about a week ago but has still contacted me a little here and there. Just saying that she is praying for me and very little small talk. I texted her and asked if this is really what she wants and she never texted back for 24 hours and the reply had nothing to do with that question. That silence says a lot to me. Well last night I texted her and said that I have something important that I need to discuss with you, she said okay and now was a good time to come over. I have been in a hotel for going on a month now. It has been torture. So last night I went there and spilled my guts. Telling her that I don’t want this and that I just want to know if there is a sliver of a crack in the door for me to fight for our relationship. I am ready and willing to fight for it. I did not get a true answer m. All I got is I just don’t know if I can get back. I broke her trust and she is struggling with that. There was no infidelity or anything like that. She just just trust what I am telling her that I want out of our relationship. I really cannot read where her answer may lie. I told her I lived her and asked her to give it some thought and she kind of said she would but just kept saying I don’t know if I can get back. She asked me what it would look like if we did get back together and I told her that I wanted a chance to build that trust. To show her I wanted that bond with her, to be her partner through thick and thin. When I left I told her that I would not contact her and bug her. I would let her reach out to me. The problem for me is also worse because I moved to her place from 2 hours away and I don’t really know anyone out here that is not her family or was not her friend first. So I am stuck in a hotel with nothing but my thoughts. I have been seeing a relationship counselor and that has helped but left things also more confusing. As I said I cannot read her at all right now. She has been very vague. It is driving me nuts. I guess I am just looking for some guidance from real people and not a therapist
@Rick1colts
Relationships are built not just on trust but also on clear communication and honesty.
It's not fair of her to be so dismissive and with holding any real answers and keeping you holding on
That's very immature.
She has to make a decision for both of your sakes, to work on this relationship and that means her too, to fight for it, or to give you a definitive answer that allows you to start making decisions and healing, not being stuck in a loop , wishing you the best of luck 💙
Hello @Rick1colts.
I understand that you wish to get back with your girlfriend.
I wish you success. Losing her trust is causing your girlfriend to be conflicted.
We support you here good luck.🌟
Thank you. I need the luck right niw
Thank you. I need the luck right now
You are correct. It is extremely exhausting
I am starting to feel disrespected. Aggravation is starting to. Reel in. I am owed something after 5 years and an engagement. I am starting to think that she has someone in her ear giving her advice that is detrimental to our relationship
@Rick1colts
Capisco la tua frustrazione, è normale dopo tutto quello che avete vissuto e con questa incertezza.
Però fare supposizioni su altre persone o su “influenze esterne” rischia di aumentare solo la tua rabbia senza aiutarti a capire davvero cosa sta succedendo.
Da quello che descrivi, sembra più una sua confusione emotiva e dolore non risolto che una mancanza di rispetto intenzionale.
Ora la cosa più difficile è che tu hai bisogno di chiarezza, ma lei al momento non riesce ancora a dartela.
So Are you telling me that if I care about this relationship, I should hold out a little longer and let her process things more?
Honestly, in a way I’ve been in your situation, not exactly though. I left my husband last June, told him I wanted a divorce as I was tired of the way our relationship was (very toxic, degrading). He begged me to stay, to do therapy again, to just separate and work on ourselves and revisit in a month. It hurt to leave him, truly. I love him and he has been my best friend the past 7 years so it was not easy. I did tell him that I was willing to fight for our marriage, but I got tired of being the only one fighting for our marriage.
Now, we ended up not doing therapy, he didn’t put in the effort nor communicate. We both gave a list of things to work on… that’s as much of discussion out of him I got. I thought, when I went back a month later, things were better. And at the time.. they were, kind of. Eventually it turned out he never ACTUALLY worked on those things. He knew how to reel me back in. And it worked, and now here I am trying to pick up the pieces of my marriage again.
I’m not saying any of this to be harsh, but I want you to take a step back and look at everything you’ve given up for her.. compared to everything she’s given up for you. You moved 2 hours away to a town that meant nothing to you but ✨her✨...you’re staying in a hotel (I’m so sorry, they do suck deeply) trying to patiently wait for her to fight for you rather than going back where you came from or finding something new on your own.
If she can’t even fathom the conversation of saving or fighting for your engagement, maybe you’re dodging a bullet that I couldn’t. If she “doesn’t know if you can get back”… then sadly, it’s probably for the best in the long run.
As I’ve somewhat been in your shoes, I understand the difficulty, the hurt and the confusion behind it all. Whatever you choose, I support you ❤️
I have settled down from the feeling of being disrespected. Most of this was my fault. I let myself be who I am not. I became lazy in the relationship and that pushed her away. Does she have faults? Yes, we all do. Mine were just more numerous. The therapy that I have gone through and the reflecting that I have done has made me notice those flaws. I am actively working on this me flaws to better myself. For her and for me. I want her to experience the change that has and is happening in me. I want to actively be there for her in life. I just need a little crack in the door to share that life with her and work to build her trust back
I'm really sorry that you are going through this. A breakup is not so easy to go through, especially if you genuinely love her, and from all indications, you do. I know it hurts but I'll suggest you give her some time to sort herself out. She may be facing some emotional challenges that she may not even understand herself. So, a little patience will go a long way to make things easier, I believe. I hope things work out in the end. Take great care of yourself ❤️🤗
Thank you for the wishes
