Ex - divorced

@tinacro22

It takes time to heal and to come to terms with things .

It also allows for clarity.

And peace of mind.

You deserve to be happy again and gentle with yourself at this time.

@tinacro22

Many people who get divorced and as things settle people see thing more clearly and understand what went wrong. 

in many situations we may wish things had been done or said differently.  Some couples in time get back and see it is easier to communicate before going through the divorce.   

 Being  lonely  we tend to overlook things that were not compatible. Sometime we  even hang with friend that we would not if we were not lonely or just wanting a friend so a bad one will do  in the moment. I find being honest with myself and looking as objectively and not let lonely take me back into a situation that does not work.  

I'm really sorry for what your suffering right now and I could only imagine the pain that your going through. i guess, asking "what to do" is a form of you wanting to not feel this feelings anymore. but let me sit here beside you for a bit and lets just grief it together.

when you say you didnt communicated things properly, what would the outcome would be if it was done the other way around? would the outcome be changed?

i dont want to assume but it seems like your carrying alot of regrets.

I am sorry you're feeling low and those bad feelings.

Being not privy into your reasons for divorcing but those were valid reasons for you and your ex. If you looked at things in the cold light of day you probably wouldnt miss them but in your perceived loneliness you are.

As long as your thoughts and feelings don't take you to a dark and dangerous place ( and if they are best get emergency help where ever you live) it's ok to experience them. Use it to process what went through and if there was things from your point of view that caused them then to not beat yourself up but try see how to improve.

Relationships are hard you can be married for years and found out new aspects that might be a red line we all hope we know enough when we get married that it be fine for a lifetime but reality is often different and we live in an age where people feel they don't have to work on it and split to find someone new.

Unclear communication and un communicated expectations kill all relationships and we sometimes learn the hard way but doesn't make us bad it's what makes us human.

Time will heal and you can find avenues to help your feelings if loneliness. You will have interests and hobbies go do them with other people , join a club. The interactions will help even if its temporary distraction to all these thoughts.

Be kind to yourself . Reach out if need be. Consider therapy if possible.