Ex girlfriend issues
Hey so a bit of a story here...
In December my ex girlfriend (24) and me (26) broke up. She had a bad alcohol issue so I decided to introduce my best friend who has same issue as her. 1st time was fine but next 2 times were weird. The next time they were both really drunk and were cuddling in front of me. I passed it off as them being drunk and my friend and I trying to help her. It bothered me so I talked to her about it and said it was bothering me and stuff she said she didn't wanna hurt me so I thought it was all good. About a week later she invited him over while I was at work and when I got home they were cuddling again. I found out that while I was at work they had kissed (they both said that's all that happened). I had to ask my friend about what happened, she lied and didn't tell me exactly.
After we broke up she ended up going to his house one day and stayed the night and they both drank. I was texting her at the time and she also lied saying she was at a different girl's house. She ended up saying crazy stuff on the way home like stuff about her asking strangers to get in their car so I got worried for her well being, told her family and we called the police to help us search for her. She ended up being fine.
It's been a few months now and just yesterday she started begging me for forgiveness and saying she can't let me go. And it still hurts for me to see her sad like that and a part of me wants to try and save her from what she feels (even though it still hurts me to think of being betrayed by both of them). But I don't know if that will make things worse instead of letting go. I told her we both need to move on. But it's just hard. I've never broken up with somebody before.
I feel a bit like after 6 years she made a mistake at her lowest point but she was also lying to me and being disloyal to me with my best friend (who I've decided I'm never going to be friends with again)
We've lived together for the past 2 years with 2 cats and she still hasn't even moved her stuff out of my place yet. She's been with her parents since January.
Just curious about your guys opinions on this. Am I crazy for even debating on forgiving her or is it for the best to move on?
@Usso I get that it can be difficult to watch someone you love clearly has a problem and that you were willing to accept it because of the bond that has been built between you two. But see it from thing angle, like any normal person, you probably would've preferred someone who is a non-alcoholic, but you changed that about you because you love her. Then how come she's not doing the same thing? People change for the people they love and clearly she didn't want to change. The moment she got someone she thinks is better, she jumped ship immediately. Pretty sure it was going nowhere with the other guy and she came crawling back to you, whom she clearly did not treat well, because you're her safety net.
You seem to have a kind heart that's still willing to forgive and give second chances, but you're not doing yourself a favor if you have to put up with the same shenanigans all over again. You can't love her or anyone else if you don't love yourself first. Loving means the willingness to let go, because clearly she wasn't planning on getting better while she's with you. My only advice is to love yourself, think about what would you do if you care about your own well-being?
