Feeling unloved
Me (33M) and my wife (30F), have been married for 5 years, been together for 9.
I’ve always told her that I don’t feel like she appreciates or loves me. She makes it clear that she can live without me, which hurts everytime.
I recently left her, and normally I would text or ring first, but this time I’m waiting for her to talk first.
It’s been 4 days, I feel the best thing is to wait, but how long
@modestCoconut1815
Although I hardly know the history, that is certainly damaging to hear from a partner.
Where is your head when thinking of how this came about?
Given you leaving, I guess repair attempts before haven't been how you'd like?
That sucks! Sorry you're going through this 😔
@modestCoconut1815
Will it be enough if she calls first. My guess is NO. waiting it out only creates more division.
There needs to be real discussion not keeping score.
When we do not let down the armor and tell her how her words make you feel for real. Some women try to project independence, or they can make it on their own for other reasons. It can be Sort of defensive tactic to not show she may be scared you will leave. if you both are waiting for each other to make a move sooner or later one may not think it is worth it anymore.
When you want or need something it helps to ask for it clearly instead of hoping they figure it out.
Sorry you have someone who doesn’t appreciate you!
Sounds like you have the answer, as hard as it is.
It’s been 4 days and she didn’t reach out so possibly the reach out from you needs to be something about let’s have a conversation about how moving on without each other looks and figure out dividing assets and belongings.
It’s hard but maybe look at how you feel away from her. Is it relief after the sadness goes away?
Time to look inside and just see what you feel and even what you want.
Sometimes if your spouse feels you pull away they move back towards you but it’s important to ask yourself is that really what you want?
Then you can decide next steps with more clarity!
I have been divorced once after 13 years and hope this second marriage doesn’t end that way.
But I finally value myself enough after years and years to know if that person I am with doesn’t value me then what is the point of having them in my life?
I hope things improve and go the way way you want them to go.
The cool part is the decision all yours now!
Sending you strength and sunshine vibes!
