Genuine interest vs Role?
So I'm seeing someone I met before I met my ex gf. I've seen her 4x so far, and 2x has been in her apartment. She's a dominitrix and she makes me "spoil her" to go over.....so.....yeah idk.
She has offered to take me shopping for clothes, take me to art galleries, and let me take her out to dinner sometime. She works in fashion and art industry.
She's also made us play a card game called "We're not really strangers" which was nice. And then she quizzed me to see if I can remember all her favorite artists and exotic color names she uses in her art lol.
But she also told me she has 2 boyfriends and is in a polyamorous relationship and one of them is her ex so she "really isn't even that into it".
She's also told me that "I'm here favorite pet". We went to a bar one time and like....she became very submissive, which is weird, after I like opened doors and stuff for her. And last time I went to her house, she kisses my cheek and we hugged, and she hugged me tighter midway through.
Is her offering to take me shopping and stuff and go on actual dates coming from her? Or just because she likes to have the role of a dominitrix?
We don't see each other that much since we both are busy with our careers, she's in fashion/art and lives in the city, and I'm a PTA in the suburbs but the drive is only 30 minutes to her place which isn't bad.
But we both have genuine respect for each other, and she keeps asking me to open up to her and speak my truth, but she knows I'm hesitant because I did that before and my ex left (to be honest, there was other stuff going on that led to that breakup, so I don't think me opening up necessarily even caused the breakup directly).
Is this girl genuinely into me? Is it just the role? I do like to take things slow, but idk how she feels, or if she likes feeling dominant over me
Any advice? I know this is weird
@toughPapaya1551 It sounds like you are navigating complex feelings and situations in this relationship. Part of being in a healthy relationship is having open communication, and it is great that she encourages you to open up. However, it's important to prioritize your own comfort level with sharing personal details. It is okay to take things slowly and establish boundaries. Reflecting on whether her actions align with her words can also provide insight into her intentions. Please know it is important to prioritize your own well-being and make decisions that feel right for you.
@toughPapaya1551,
she seems to enjoy your company. She genuinely seems to see and respect you as a friend. Otherwise she wouldn't want to spend time with you.
Follow your gut instinct. If you feel comfortable with her, that's a good sign. She might be a dominatrix and having other relationships but as long as that doesn't feel like what drives her (and based on what you shared she seems genuine and honest) enjoy your friendship.
Do not fall for her though. Respect the friendship and don't let her pull all the strings. Being a dominatrix doesn't mean she doesn't like men who take the lead, on the contrary, she will only respect that.
What if I'm like, into her? How would I even go about asking "Hey have u ever thought about like... actually dating?" Cuz I don't wanna screw anything up, but also don't want to be delusional
@toughPapaya1551,
one thing to consider is whether you would be OK with hervbeingbin a polyamorous relationship.
Other then that, enjoy the moment. If you start talking about dating you likely will push her away. Take it slow, leave it up to her to show any feelings. Sounds like a close friendship, she seems to feel save with you. Let it be for now, let her lead.
Yeah that I figured, but I wanted to like take her out and stuff and kinda show through my actions "hey, I'd be down to date" without saying it until she does if ever
@toughPapaya1551,
yeah, well, keep your distance. Be kind and gentle. Consistent in your behavior. Just be you. You said she wants you to take her out for dinner sometime, wait for the right moment. Keep it casual. Just show you like her company.