Going through a possible breakup (m-29) (f-24)
currently feel like I’ve let my partner down and she has fallen out of love due to me forgetting our first anniversary -(15days ago since today) I’ve made it up the day after but, it has led to her being mindful of small things and turning them into big ones. This might be her trying to break it off though she does love me but, idk maybe still wants to be alone. I asked if she seriously wanted to be with me but she said yes and no because their are pros and cons to this relationship. So I’ve given her space a whole day and just sent this message (just want you to know, I’m giving you your space. I know I let you down and want to make it up. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, I promise I’m trying and don’t mean to do that . i want to say I won’t do it again But, I can only show that with actions like you tell me and I hope you give me the opportunity to do that. I’m sorry and do want to make it up to you and make you feel how you deserve like in the beginning. You don’t have to reply just let me know if/when we can have a conversation in person when you’re ready to tell me or reply or anything. I love you,….. though I understand you can’t say it back right now. This isn’t me trying to make you do anything I just want you to know where my mind is.) this is me word vomiting and I know it’s a lot but, please help me know I’m doing the right thing…. Is this still workable? how can I do better? Does she already have another guy in her mind? So many thought are going through my head and I just want to hold her but know I shouldn’t surprise her like that…. Please help thank you.
@rcruz21
I am sorry you are going through this ... this is a small example of whatever is happening in your relationship so it would be hard to give advice but maybe something to think about.
Have you looked deeper then one missed anniversary.
perhaps that is a symptom not the issue? If you have issues it seldom the symptom but the deeper problem. The biggest problem in most is communication she is not telling you how she feels about it and you are trying to fix things that may NOT be the real issue.
i speak from experience my partner would forget or always " make up" for things he forgot .... it was not about the forgetting we all do this.... it was about a continued behavior ..... he would miss something or last minute make a sad gesture and laugh it off about "i knew how he forgot things. "
it was the small things / actions or lack of action that was the problem .... grand gestures or such do not fix that..... you can not show her you will not let it happen again except with time and showing up at any event not playing catch up.
You already told her that you wanna make it up. Please please please give her time to be alone. Trust me! All my break up went bad when I kept trying to contact my ex. So, just give her time and for a while give your self time to learn how to handle this situation calmly.
I hope you realized that you already tried your best and the rest, it is out of your control ^^
you know, as a human forgetting something is just a normal thing, but not everyone has willingness to fix and realize the mistake. I think that’s a good thing about you.
If she is mature enough, she will forgive you
this is not a big enough reason to justify a break up.
