Having a bad day
I dont really know what to type but i know i need to write it down somehow, somewhere my husband cant find it.
I posted before about my realising my husband was a narcissist, desperate to leave him but i am stuck here. Its getting worse. He is so angry all the time, he hates me. He accuses me of being unstable. Trys to make me out to be crazy. I do everything he asks, everytime. I never say to intimacy with him, the other day was the one time i do, he absolutely flips out. Like scary angry, ive never seen him so angry, i actually thought he might come at me. He hasnt spoken to me for 3 days now. Complete silence. Which is a usual tactic for him, he knows how much i hate when he does that. Im on eggshells all the time, i feel anxious and sick and i just dont know what to do. Tomorrow he will probably talk to me again and just pretend nothing happened, and im supposed to just be normal again with no resolving the issue,no communication about it, no nothing. I dont know how much longer i can just pretend everything is ok.
I just needed to vent. To get it out. To have it somewhere where i know its real and he cant make me believe it didnt happen or downplay it to make me seem like im overreacting and crazy. Because sometimes i do actually believe him and i hate myself for it.
@resourcefulTalker1630
They are gifted at making you believe it is you and while appeasing them with anger issues seems like they best thing ....... it only emboldens them more to go farther.
If possible document what you can record his outbursts or something Have you shared with anyone IRL?
I feel if we are quiet if the worst happens and no one knows .. people will buy his BS too....
In case you are in danger get some backup.... do you have neighbors or friends or family?
@resourcefulTalker1630
My husband acts the same way. He is an alcoholic. he blames me for everything. I tell him "no" and he says I don't love him. Maybe I don't. It's hard to love someone who lies, bullies, insults, orders, etc. It's worse when he doesn't remember a half an hour later. Unfortunately I don't forget. Because he blames me so much and I can't say anything back because that will just make him even more mad, I feel anger and guilt. I blame myself even when I know its not all my fault.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. There are others out there in similar situations. I wish you peace. Hopefully things will get better. That's the hope I cling to.