He Keeps Coming back
31(f) the guy is 28
I’m a successful entrepreneur with a roommate
guy is a successful entrepreneur independent with own house own car.
It’s been about a year since we’ve known each other now.
I met this guy on a dating app around the same time last year.
when we met, we went on dates and spent a lot of time together. There was a time when dating where he made me feel uncomfortable because the communication & dates became less frequent.
I blocked him and never looked back. Then I deleted the dating app. Fast forward 2-3 months, I re-downloaded the dating app. He found me and asked to come back in my life. I allowed him back in and same thing , nothing changed. He asked me on a date. We went on the date. Fast forward. He never asked me to be his gf or anything. I was confused on where we were headed. Soooo… I blocked him again. I deleted dating app. Re-downloaded dating app. And then boom, there he is again. Asking to be in my life. I let him back in. We went on dates hung out, i slept with him (which I regret). He told me I am his confidant. Everytime I mention a relationship he mentions how he is super busy running three business @ he needs time to gauge things. He said that if I block him all of the time.. whose to say I wouldn’t divorce him if we were to get married? Mind you I can’t help but to think about how during every-time we reconnected he would tell me how he dated a girl and it ended bad.
I told him that that makes me just feel like a place holder in his life but at the same time feel crazy because I was definitely entertaining other guys during our “breaks”
The other night we talked and I didn’t like his responses to my questions about relationships so I blocked him again.
Oh, during that time I also didn’t like that he told me that there would be times that he would be too busy working to keep in contact with me. Or there would simply be days he would want to himself & that he wouldn’t necessarily want to be bothered
I told him that I am a very busy person too but talking to him on my downtime made my day better. And I don’t see how it isn’t the same for him. Like why doesn’t talking to me make his day better.
& i know it’s not good, but it hurts my feelings when I lurk and see that he’s made post on his social media. I feel like if you have time to post on social media then you have time to talk to me too as the post aren’t technically business related.
I have blocked him again and I plan to keep him blocked forever.
but now I am in so much pain that it is hard for me to focus on basic tasks… i just don’t get how he would come back into my life without clarity
i’m depressed, I feel dumb and stupid. And i have no idea how i will survive going back to work when all I want to do is just stay home and cry all day…
i need advice & tips on how to swiftly heal and never make this mistake again
@plumBanana1122
you tried it seems a few times he is not meeting your expectations of a relationship so move on....even if he contacts you that does not mean you need to respond. Were your re-adding the dating app in hopes he would respond?
honestly after reading about all the blocking and checking his social media i went back to top of post and read your ages again as this sounds like someone not ready for a relationship.
The call/ texts and constant in touch does not work for some people it is not personal just they may not think about it when they are working or involved with other things ... The starting off with lots of dates and things and it slowing down to a slower pace is fairly normal .....and will happen again with others as well.... what is it that you realistically want in a relationship?
What I want from a relationship is a bond stronger than no other. I do want frequent communication and to hear from my SO as often because that would solidify & let me know that I’m always on their mind throughout being caught up in the hustle & bustle of this world.
i get that communication dying is supposed to be normal.. but i don’t get it at the same time.
i am super busy with my work. I work long hours & i am working customer service so at the end of my day(s) I am exhausted i get it. But what makes my work days better is being able to talk to my SO about life and other things…
so maybe our love languages are different. He would like to be left alone vs I like communication with other humans outside of work.
or maybe I’m insecure and not busy enough to the point that I don’t even notice that the communication is dying..
No, I wasn’t re- downloading the dating apps in hopes he would add me again. Each time was a total surprise
i would be fine with minimal communication if the person declared their intentions with me. & that’s something he didn’t do.
like, if he were to sit me down and be like “ look, I know you’re ready for a relationship. i’m ready for one too with you. We can be together but just keep in mind that I am really busy with work etc etc so we may not be able to be in communication/contact everyday. But I will try to reach out and check on you any time I get some down time” i would be fine with that but he never told me that verbatim and I’m afraid to sit around and wait