Hold on or let it go
Hii there ..
I want to ask a question, i am stuck in a situation where, I kind of like a boy . He used to have a crush on me ( maybe now too , I can't say ) , back at that time I don't have any feelings for him but after a year of knowing him , I started to like him .
For around a duration of one year we used to talk not much just he used to ask me something and I was Just reply just almost surface level talk . He was the one who used to text me first ( but he rarely talk to me in person, he was shy maybe) .
But after a year due to some family reasons didn't talk with him and he sensed it and never initiated any talk . So , after that things are like that only for now one and half year . We had talk like 5 or 6 time in whole duration. Now , he seems closed off not like before.
He had gone through a heartbreak in his previous relationship where he loved that girl deeply. He has a addiction for smoking and drinking.
So , now I am not sure what to do because firstly, I now know that I like him for the person he is but I hate this addictions he has and I don't want to have a who is into all these .
Second ly, I am not sure whether he just had a crush on me or something more to or whether he had moved on from his ex or not
Third, He is from different caste than mine . So i am also not certain whether they will agree or not . Chances are they can but can say with surety.
So now what should I do , hold on the hope that maybe he will try to talk things out or just release this hope that things would ever change or he is the one for me.
Because I am very introvert person. I don't talk much with people. I can and will talk with him clearly but for that I atleast need to know where I stand for him .
If after reading this u have any suggestions please let me know . I am stuck in all these emotional web for two years now . I don't know what to do .
@selfconfidentField7898
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing something so personal. That in itself takes a lot of courage especially when you're carrying this alone for so long. First of all, please know this your feelings are completely valid. It's okay to feel confused, to miss the connection you once shared, and to hope for clarity, especially when your heart has been quietly holding on for so long.
It sounds like you’ve been very thoughtful in how you've observed this situation his personality, his past, his habits, and your family's potential views. That shows how deeply you care, and that you're not someone who takes love lightly. That matters.
Here’s the truth: It’s hard when feelings come after a connection has already faded, when you realize too late that someone might’ve meant more to you than you thought. But love is never really about "timing" being perfect it’s about clarity, courage, and communication.
Right now, you’re stuck in a space between hope and reality. And it’s exhausting to carry that in your mind and heart without any answers. You’re not weak for feeling this way you’re human. You want something beautiful, meaningful, and respectful. That’s not asking for too much.
Let me gently offer you a few thoughts to consider:
🌱 1.You deserve someone who chooses you fully.
Someone who brings not just warmth, but stability. If his addictions trouble you now, listen to that. You’re allowed to want a partner who shares your values. Love is not just about feelings; it’s also about compatibility in lifestyle and emotional health.
💬 2.if you ever choose to speak with him do it only if it brings you peace, not pain. You don’t have to pour your whole heart out. Maybe just something honest, simple:
> "Hey, I just wanted to reach out… I’ve been meaning to say that I’ve thought about our old connection and wondered if we’re both in a space to talk more honestly now. No pressure. Just wanted to be real."
Sometimes just opening a small door is enough to see if the other person still wants to step through it.
⏳ 3.Don’t wait endlessly.
Two years is a long time to stay emotionally stuck. If he doesn’t show any signs of reconnecting, or if the connection no longer feels mutual or healthy you have every right to let go, not with bitterness, but with grace. Letting go doesn’t mean it didn’t matter; it just means your peace matters more now.
💛 4.Your introversion doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you reflective, deep, and emotionally aware. When you do speak, it’s thoughtful and real. Someone out there will value that completely. But you don’t need to change yourself to chase love that isn’t showing up for you now.
Take a breath. You don’t need all the answers today. But you do deserve to stop feeling stuck and start feeling free again free to hope, to love, to live without confusion.
Whatever you decide, make sure it's something that brings you peace, not just longing You're not asking for too much you're asking for the right kind of love.
I'm rooting for you. Always. 🌼
And if you ever need
to talk this through more, I’m here.
Thank you so much .
I am rooting for myself now and starting to love myself like I do to others ❤️.
@selfconfidentField7898
Glad to hear that ☺️
I am in a scenario somewhat similar to selfconfidentField. I just wanted to thank you for the advice. I am glad to have stumbled upon your words. ❤️
☺️@sunnyVase9732
M glad it helped you 😊
