How do I leave?
I know it sounds stupid…
my last relationship lasted 17 years and was severely abusive and controlling. He took his own life…
I have just discovered my current partner is lieing and cheating and I love him so much. I know that even though I don’t feel like it I am worth more than that. So I want to leave but I actually don’t know what to do first or how to do it. I have two kids 11 and 13 they obviously went through so much trauma with their dad and his violence then his death. They will be devastated as they saw this man as their father figure and role model. I am just devastated and don’t know what ro do. Help
@HollyJade14
It is a no win situation with kids..... stay and you teach them relationships are all dysfunctional and it is ok to be lied to and cheated on and have little self worth...... or perhaps when they are in a relationship it is OK to treat your partner like that too...
Leave and yes they will feel a loss of that person .........that was a part of their life and their healing..... but in reality throughout life people enter and leave your life....... ask your self in the future ....would you ask them to stay in a dysfunctional relationship because you really like and are friends with their partner even if they treat your child badly?
If you love him and think you can rebuild trust and your relationship for YOU and him then do it ....
If you think you should leave do not make excuses to stay ......the lessons kids learn is in action not just words. .......... I think you should listen to that voice inside that is telling you what to do not try to drown it out with excuses and what ifs.
EITHER way you need to build your relationship with YOU and find your self worth and when you are confident in that and love yourself....... others respond by not walking all over you.
Thank you for your thought! I appreciate this so much. I need to hear this point of view and all angles as I feel like I have a very skewed and one sided view clouded by my fear and trauma. I am going to therapy once a week and have asked that we spend some dedicated time to fixing us and that if we cannot I want to leave at the end of the month as I choose not to accept feeling this way moving forward. Even if it turns out he didn’t cheat which is almost a certainty he did, he has lied so much I can’t live with that either. It just hurts so deeply that I loved and supported this man with my whole soul and I can’t understand how I could deserve this. I don’t understand how anyone could cheat. It’s so beyond my comprehension! I just wish I had a magic crystal ball…
Thank you for your thought! I appreciate this so much. I need to hear this point of view and all angles as I feel like I have a very skewed and one sided view clouded by my fear and trauma. I am going to therapy once a week and have asked that we spend some dedicated time to fixing us and that if we cannot I want to leave at the end of the month as I choose not to accept feeling this way moving forward. Even if it turns out he didn’t cheat which is almost a certainty he did, he has lied so much I can’t live with that either. It just hurts so deeply that I loved and supported this man with my whole soul and I can’t understand how I could deserve this. I don’t understand how anyone could cheat. It’s so beyond my comprehension! I just wish I had a magic crystal ball…
