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HollyJade14
1 3,458 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts94 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes25 Current upvotes25 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 27, 2024
Bio

42/ F/ 🇦🇺


Recent forum posts
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Insecurity and anxiety is ruining my life
Relationship Stress / by HollyJade14
Last post
 April 10th, 2024
...See more Please help I desperately need someone to talk to and reassure me. I went through 16 years of abuse- from beatings to cheating to controlling money, food, friends, work, mental abuse, you name it. I ran away as a few weeks later he took his own life. i met someone amazing shortly after and wasn’t looking but it felt amazing and have been with him 4 yrs. The last heat has been filled with doubt anxiety and worry that he’s cheating. He’s fed up with my anxiety and I’m fed up with his lack of effort and reassurance- but the panic makes it one thousand times worse! please help! I can’t breathe!
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How do I leave?
Relationship Stress / by HollyJade14
Last post
 February 12th, 2024
...See more I know it sounds stupid… my last relationship lasted 17 years and was severely abusive and controlling. He took his own life… I have just discovered my current partner is lieing and cheating and I love him so much. I know that even though I don’t feel like it I am worth more than that. So I want to leave but I actually don’t know what to do first or how to do it. I have two kids 11 and 13 they obviously went through so much trauma with their dad and his violence then his death. They will be devastated as they saw this man as their father figure and role model. I am just devastated and don’t know what ro do. Help
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Everyone abandons me. What’s wrong with me?
Relationship Stress / by HollyJade14
Last post
 February 10th, 2024
...See more I was in a severely abuaive relationship for 17 years. He beat me, broke baskets on my head, chased me with knives and controlled and manipulated my whole life. Cheated on me and made me believe I was worthless. To keep safe I kept it a secret as best I could. I decided I had to run so I packed. My two kids and ran. A couple of weeks later be killed himself. I met someone amazing and now I’m ruining it with trauma responses. I don’t trust him and have severe anxiety that he will leave and cheat.we had a fight last night and he left and won’t answer his phone he said he needs time. What if he doesn’t come back. I am so anxious and panicked right now. Please help.
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Anyone willing to connect with Aussie/ 41/ Female
General Support / by HollyJade14
Last post
 February 8th, 2024
...See more Massive relationship anxiety and past trauma from abusive relationship that spanned 17 years. need some reassurance that my past is over and not impacting my current life. I am hugely worried my current partner is cheating. Heaps of signs but no proof… intrusive thoughts are killing me. getting desperate. Would love someone to talk to or check in with to bounce things off and calm down my intrusive thoughts. i have a therapy session once a week but there is a lot that goes through my head between sessions and I struggle between visits.
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Need some reassurance that my partner isn’t cheating! The worry and anxiety is crippling 😔
Anxiety Support / by HollyJade14
Last post
 February 6th, 2024
...See more I was in a very severe domestic violent relationship for 17 years. He gaslighted me, cheated on me, made me believe I was worth nothing and wouldn’t find anyone who would put up with me… my two beautiful boys were also badly abused. We were controlled to the point we couldn’t choose our own food. it got to the point where I was certain he would kill one of us and I fled with a bag each… he killed himself a few weeks later. even though I wasn’t looking I met someone and he seemed amazing! Patient kind, put in effort every day, made me feel special and loved. Showed my kids what it looked like to treat their mum properly… it’s been 4 years and the last year has been ***! He went from open phone to hidden and locked down. Has a woman from work throwing herself at him and he doesn’t shut it down. They now are inseparable. I’ve spoken about it, asked for reassurance and explained how my past affects my thoughts and feelings of safety. He used to care so much about my feelings and tell me it wasn’t my fault… now just says that he shouldn’t suffer for some other guys mistakes and that I suffocate him and he should be able to have friends as he’s never had many close mates. I am getting so desperate I just need to know… I’ve offered to leave if he doesn’t want me anymore but I feel like he just doesn’t want to be the bad guy! I’ve spoken to my trauma councillor but she just wants to focus on my trauma and childhood which was also quite hard and full of abandonment and distant parents. I’ve been taking anti anxiety medication for 12 months and anti depression medication for about 3 months. I’m still feeling like I can’t hang on and I’m drowning… I’ve tried talking with a few listeners and I think I’ve been too much or there have been some triggers… I thank you so much if you’ve read this far I could really use someone to talk to or some reassuring words… ♥️
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My relationship anxiety is so suffocating, it hurts, I can’t breathe or concentrate…
Anxiety Support / by HollyJade14
Last post
 January 30th, 2024
...See more I feel physically ill when my anxiety strikes… I can’t control it anymore and there isn’t clear triggers anymore. It’s all the time. It my relationship… I spent 17 years in a severely toxic relationship very violent and controlling. He took his own life… I have a new partner and no matter what seem to feel he’ll abandon me, that he’s cheating and I doubt him and get very jealous of his time away from me. How do I help fix this so I don’t lose him. There have been some things that I think are signs of cheating but I can’t tell for sure if it’s that or my past trauma… I’ve spoken to him, counselling hasn’t helped much. And I’ve tried lifeline. I need someone who isn’t a bot to talk to!
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Depression from past trauma
Depression Support / by HollyJade14
Last post
 January 29th, 2024
...See more I have a lot of unhealed past trauma. I can’t find peace and learn to trust again. It’s destroying my soul and my current relationship
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Past trauma making anxiety worse
Anxiety Support / by HollyJade14
Last post
 February 11th, 2024
...See more I experienced domestic violence for 17 years. Now that I am free from that. My trauma is still impacting my relationship now. I have massive trust and doubt issues. I want to overcome them so desperately but can’t navigate through jt. It’s hurting my current partner and making my worry and anxiety unbearable to a point I can’t eat sleep or work properly. I can’t fathom how I can trust another human or how my abusive partner wasn’t right about everything he said and that I deserved it all.
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