How do you forgive a partner who cheated?
It’s been three months since I confronted my partner about meeting a younger girl at a car meet. I run my own business, and just a few months ago I lost a huge client — a blow that hit both financially and emotionally. Somehow, I’ve tied my independence and attractiveness to my professional success.
Seeing those messages on his phone shattered something inside me. It felt like he chose someone else at one of the worst times in my life, instead of supporting me. He begged me not to leave, promised it would never happen again, and asked for another chance.
Three months later, I feel numb. I don’t enjoy things, I can’t remember the last time I truly felt happy. My mind keeps circling: “Is he with someone else again?” Nights when he’s working late are the hardest.
Today, I’m asking myself: do I break up our household — which feels like admitting defeat — or do I keep going, hoping that eventually things will get better, that I’ll start to feel love for him again?
I don’t have the answers yet. I just needed to share this, and maybe hear from others who have been here.
@LunaInRuin
It's a very personal choice and a hard one!
But one you need to make for yourself!
Have an open and honest conversation!
Tell him exactly how he made you feel!
Put boundaries in place!
Trust can be rebuilt but it takes time and ultimately you need to ask yourself the hard question, is he worth it? Can I forgive and truly put it in the past and not bring it up again!
Genuinely sorry you are going through this!
You deserve someone who makes you feel desired, safe and who you can rely on!
💜💕
Sorry to hear how you are feeling.
All the emotions and feelings are all valid .
Your trust is borken. You have been betrayed.
It is extremely hard to heal from this and requires massive work by both of you for this to work.
You are not obliged to either. What has happened is enough to split and if this was reddit that what the vast amount of people would say.
Only you can decide if you want to work towards trusting again not just for this relationship but also future ones because even if you split the effects will transfer. If you can't trust then there's no point whatever he says and you don't want to have control him and forever wonder. that's not healthy for either of you .
I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
@LunaInRuin
I have been there... this is a individual decision and takes real reflection. do not let others tell you things like "once a cheat always a cheat" .. those sayings etc are Not a one size fits all. I found many who have strong stances on this subject have not had to go thru it. Their perspective can be mostly hypothetical. IMO.
Focus on your real feelings and ability to grow from here. The memory will bother you and pop up time to time ..if angry etc... I too was having a difficult time in career and such and in that moment partner was looking elsewhere for attention and appreciation. I can understand a person trying their feeling of worth etc to professional success and when that is going badly or has a set back ... some of us cocoon in all the feelings and challenges we are going thru. I was absorbed in my issue and really did not see him ... I did not see how i was short and complaining all the time...telling him. I did not want to hear his stupid "fixes" as they all were "just quit" . He felt invisible, ignored and not needed and it was over....
I honestly did not understand until the situation reversed ......meaning when he was totally absorbed and mad at everything with a professional and health issues. I was an after thought, cut out and ignored. I met a person .....who listened to me and made me feel seen ... it was friendly but nothing else and at that moment I could see how line becomes not as clear cut as people assume. It is NOT about placing Blame or Fault it is about really seeing how things were/ are in time frame. How we were NOT communicating well. How the other person is feeling in the moment not just assuming.
That is my perspective...
