How to feel more comfortable sharing with my spouse?
They get upset when I am feeling bad and say it's all their fault. If I seek help, they feel threatened by it. They apologize later, but I'm expected to get over it immediately. They get upset when I turn to online resources because I don't have many friends. How can I build resilience and share my problems with them and not be impacted by their response? They say it will get better, but idk, it's gone a little better over the years, but not by much. I believe it is going to be better in the future, but I still have this worry that hangs on
@shyBike1273
I hope things improve, it sounds difficult.. I think it would be hard to grow in a environment like that.🌲
@shyBike1273
It is hard when we have let this go on but the " all My fault" thing or getting upset. This is a tactic that has worked for them and real change is hard. We want to give the benefit of doubt, but we only get mad at ourselves when we find out years down the road there is no improvement.
We try to minimize things that upset or anger them but sooner or later we reach a point of NO more. It takes a calm discussion with real boundaries. You can let them know the upset issue is theirs and they need to work thru it ... do not back down and play along.
we cannot change others only ourselves. They need to see you expect change and you made change in yourself to not let this behavior go.
