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Hurt- need suggestion or opinion

User Profile: CompassionateSoul00
CompassionateSoul00 September 3rd, 2025


Hi everyone,
I need to share something that’s been really painful for me. I’ve had three relationships so far, and in every single one, the same pattern has happened: the women leaned on me heavily for emotional support, and once they felt better or more stable, they left.

I was always there for them   listening to their struggles, comforting them, being patient, and giving everything I could emotionally. But when it came time for them to give that back or stay committed, they walked away. It makes me feel like I was just a temporary crutch for them, not someone they truly wanted a future with.

This has hurt me so much that I’ve started to wonder: do women not actually value empathetic  caring and loving men anymore? Or am I just attracting the wrong kind of women who aren’t ready for real love?

I don’t want to become bitter, but I’m really struggling. So I want to ask the women here honestly:

  • Do you value men who are deeply empathetic and supportive?

  • Why does it seem like women come to me when they’re broken, but then leave once they heal a little?

I’m tired of this cycle and I just want to understand if I’m missing something about how relationships work.

Thanks for listening.

6
User Profile: polite2
polite2 September 3rd, 2025

I sincerely value empathetic and supportive friend in my life. He's very special. I don't think you should stop being who you are because there's not a lot of men out there like you. Hopefully the right woman comes along. Maybe just make sure the next woman isn't coming from a broken place. But rather looking to give rather than receive and hopefully that way you two can meet half ways@EmpathyS

User Profile: GoldenRuleJG
GoldenRuleJG September 3rd, 2025

@EmpathyS

This sounds like you are in the role of "giver" in relationships. You give so much of yourself emotionally to others and it hurts when it is not reciprocated. 

You can reflect on your relationship with mum and dad and how that impacted how you show up? 

In general how do you show up for yourself?

What looks like clingy behaviour to someonelse can be affectionate and considerate to others/ 

Trust your values and at the same time dont be afraid to say no if you know something is not right x

User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 September 4th, 2025

@EmpathyS there are very few men and women left who are willing to give so much care and love to another person. You have a huge heart and you are so very lovely, any woman should feel very lucky to have you💖 I wish we lived in a world where people wouldn't string others along for their own benefit 😥 it's a very sad situation and I'm so sorry your having to deal with it all. But don't give up, you are amazing and one day your princess will come along, someone who is worthy of your love💖 you are perfect just the way you are 💖

1 reply
User Profile: GoldenRuleJG
GoldenRuleJG September 4th, 2025

I love the support and connection your giving a empathy 😁🤍

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User Profile: xxLaylaxx
xxLaylaxx September 7th, 2025

@EmpathyS women do value empathy, many do! but maybe youve been finding yourself in relationships where you step into the healer role a lot of the times when people is in a vulnerable situation theyre drawn to a partner who gives support and stability but once theyre stronger they might reassess what they want in a long term relationship  this can leave you feeling like a crutch and a stepping stone especcially if this is repetitive even though the care you gave was real and valuable. you’re “too empathetic,” but that the women you’ve connected with may not have been ready to reciprocate at the same level. if something feels off sometimes or you arent feeling like theyre giving the same suport back dont be afraid to deny or ask to talk!   The right partner will value your empathy and match it with their own, seeing you as someone to build a future with :)

User Profile: fayeWP1988
fayeWP1988 September 7th, 2025

Hey Empathy,

You are on the right path, therapy, recognising your wounds, setting boundaries.

Aware people value empathy and there's hope to grow and heal in relationships on both sides.

I am sorry to hear you are hurt and loosing hope, it's rough out there and there are not many good people in general, gender aside, and hurt people hurt people.

You got this :)