I dont know what to do...
I recently found out that my girlfriend cheated on me
with another girl two years ago. I feel like maybe I'm exaggerating because it was just a kiss, or so they're making it seem... she threw herself at the other girl and kissed her, a quick kiss. They sent me the video recently and it was really hard to watch... the girl who revealed the video was also involved. My girlfriend seemed quite remorseful. We talked about it for hours, and even though it hurts and I'm suspicious, I'm letting it go. The problem is that my girlfriend is going to report the girl who revealed the video, and my friends, my best friends, are on the side of the girl who revealed the video. They're telling me that my girlfriend is manipulating me, sweetening me up, that she doesn't want to lose me. And my girlfriend seems genuinely remorseful. I don't know if I believe she's manipulating me or not, but I have to choose a side, and whichever side I choose, no matter what, will make me look like the bad guy. If I choose my girlfriend, my friends will hate me. If I choose my friends, I'll lose the person I love the most. I love her on the face of the earth... it's been two years with her, I've poured my whole being out to her, my mom loves her and my grandmother too, i dont know what to do...
Update: my two friends moved away today and... well I lost them, my girlfriend promised me and we talked for hours... I'm afraid of being alone, of losing everything, I'm thinking so many things and I don't want to relapse again... I'm thinking about things that aren't necessarily good and I don't know what to do...
@MM2009pv
Hi there, these things are never straightforward when other people are involved and have their say. However well meaningful.
I can’t advise just to say that you have to make your own decision with this, and sometimes there’s no right or wrong answer. Wishing you the best.
@MM2009pv
I think that no one has the right to expect you to be either on your girlfriend's side or on your friends' side... because it's your inalienable right to be on _your_ side.
Your girlfriend cheating on you (or, at least, showing a kind of infidelity) is certainly not a nice thing. Making it public—and known to you—by sending out a video is really malicious.
Are your friends on _your_ side, or on the side of the girl who uploaded the video? Although it might sound like just semantics, I think it can make a big difference.
If they are irritated or discouraged by this lady repeatedly mistreating you, because they care about you—that is OK. But if they require you to "choose sides", well...
I believe it can be also important to discern what is immoral from what is illegal: Even though your girlfriend did something morally wrong (passionately kissing someone else; did it happen for the first time? was she drunk, or was it a bad joke?), I believe she still has the right to persecute someone who posted a video of her without her consent.
I am not the one to tell you if you should change your company or not. But I believe your girlfriend should. How would you feel about trying to observe what happens next from half-distance and checking who is your real friend?
Very difficult but go with what you feel is right in your heart
We can't judge the 'cheating' there's no context at all. Messing around and kiss or further deeper meaning to it. Sounds like you talked it out which is good and if she wants defensive and took accountability of it that good.
Re your friends , have a proper talk with them and if they feel it's worth not being friends with you then they are not really friends . They might not agree with your decision but should be there to support you as a person even thou not the relationship. Friends would be there if you end up splitting and help you heal.
Also fear of losing her and being alone is not a good enough reason to be with someone. That's sets up horrible boundaries that you let them walk all over you and in the long-term make your life ***.
You wouldn't be losing everything . People start again . Heal . Live .love again.