I don’t know what to do…
for the first time in my life, i am in a relationship where i really see a figure and really love and care for the person. i am also realizing how many toxic patterns and reflexes I have and I don’t know how to get better, but he’s getting sick of certain things and I don’t blame him. he was very patient for a while but it keeps happening and I keep saying I’ll change, and I want to more than anything but I don’t know what to do. I always think everyone is the problem, but as I’m getting older, I’m realizing the same thing happens in every relationship, and usually ends the same way, and always the same fights and arguments. It’s to a point where I need to own up to that I’m the problem and I want to fix it, I guess I’m just lost on what to do or where to start. Any advice is appreciated.
@maddcatter
It sounds like you really love your partner and you’re starting to notice some patterns in yourself that keep causing the same issues. It’s actually really powerful that you’re noticing your patterns instead of just blaming others. That’s a huge step most people never even get to. That realization can feel heavy, but it’s also such an important step. I really respect how honest you’re being with yourself and I believe you can make progress, you don’t have to figure it out all at once. The fact you’re owning it and wanting better says loads about you and it means you’re already moving in the right direction.
@maddcatter
As @Lightinthedark7 said realizing it is the first step to solve any situation.
Being honest and talking with your partner may help set up a signal when it starts so you can change behavior then in the moment. we all plan to do things different but as life is in continual motion we do not have a hard reset button and must adapt to change.