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I don’t wat to lose her

User Profile: amicableCup5891
amicableCup5891 May 30th, 2024

I’ve been in a new relationship. Been 3 months. For the first 2 months, she loved me a lot and talked to me everyday. Nowadays we barely talk. I try to instigate a conversation but it doesn’t last. She said this is because she’s under extreme stress and is studying for a long time everyday since our finals are coming. Those are in 9 months. I feel like she’s losing interest and just not breaking up because she doesn’t want to break my heart. I talked to her about this and she just tells me not to worry and that I’ve done nothing wrong and that she does like me and hasn’t lost interest. I keep overthinking and end up jumping to conclusions. I think about her every single second of every single day. This is extremely unhealthy, I know but it’s just how I am. I want to change that. I don’t want to completely make my personality about her. How can I do this.

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 May 30th, 2024

@amicableCup5891

when we are in a relationship even certain friendships  and it is new........ it is not only that we like them ... but often like who we feel we are or could be with them.... i think sometimes when we fear losing them.... it is  More that we fear losing the way we are with them... 

sometimes we feel like everything is possible when we are with someone... we feel like we can do things we hesitated on before etc.... we feel attractive and wanted ... The tip i would suggest is build that confidence in yourself... work on being whom you want to be and see it is YOU not them that make the change... while a love interest are often a support in the change........ you are the change ...  


1 reply
User Profile: amicableCup5891
amicableCup5891 OP May 30th, 2024

The moment I read this I realised what I’m doing is useless. I keep running after her and thinking about her everyday but doing that isn’t going to change ***. I’ve decided to use these emotions to improve myself rather than sit in my room for hours everyday doing nothing and wasting time. Thank you so much. Also I agree with what u said. If she breaks up with me, not only will I miss her, I will miss the way she made me feel.

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User Profile: kyarismalls
kyarismalls June 3rd, 2024

Hi there. 3 years into mine. Sometimes, things may be out of our control but I’ve learned that making patient decisions often have more clarity and logical outcomes versus hurrying to find answers that my not be entirely clear