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I feel guilty for something with a trans friend

User Profile: calmLunch9427
calmLunch9427 2 days ago

I've been having a friends with benefits relationship with an online friend for about two and a half. She came out as trans recently as well, about a month ago, and I'm very proud of her for it. We've of course, sent pictures, and earlier, she sent me a picture of her face right outta the shower, and I told her she looked great, but I lied to her. I still think she looks good, but I had an image of her that I built up in my head, and I feel like a sh*tty person for it

Do I tell her how I really feel?

I genuinely enjoy the relationship I have with her, and I care about her a lot. But I'm lying to her about this, and it makes me feel bad. She's been very open with me that some people have used her for her body, and she's been through a lot because of *** relationships in the past, including an especially traumatizing one where someone pushed her to do horrible things she didn't want to for their own pleasure

I like her for her, not her body. She did tell me the pic wouldn't look too good, as she's not very feminine, and hasn't shaved, in her own words. I think I put too high of expectations on her, and wasn't fair

I still want to the best friend I can be for her, and support her how I can, but I feel like I shouldn't lie to her. It is possible I'm just overthinking things after the pic she sent. I'm still attracted to her regardless, and I want her to be in a body that makes her happy. I already agreed to see her try on dresses earlier this week, I look forward to it still

3
User Profile: AsherTree
AsherTree 2 days ago

@calmLunch9427

Is it really important to you that a person isn't a super model like we idolize on tv? Will telling her benifit you or her? You are feeling bad already not telling her the truth, what is you and her supposed to get out of you telling the truth?  Is their a better way to tell her that won't damage ya'lls relationship?  

These are some questions you need to ask yourself before getting into this deeper with her..🌲

2 replies
User Profile: calmLunch9427
calmLunch9427 OP 2 days ago

Thank you for the response, I realize I was being irrational about it

My relationship with her matters more to me than arbitrary beauty standards anyway

1 reply
User Profile: AsherTree
AsherTree 2 days ago

@calmLunch9427

Your welcome.  I'm honored to support your situation 🌲

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