I love him but I feel alone with him
I feel completely stuck and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m in a relationship where I can’t leave… but I’m not happy either. He says he loves me, and yes, he’s loyal and sweet in his own way. But when it actually matters, when I’m breaking or need him the most… he’s not really there.
I’ve cried on calls, explained things calmly, tried being patient, even stayed quiet sometimes… but nothing changes. He either says “sorry” or just moves on like it’s not a big deal. And slowly, I started feeling like I don’t matter as much as I should.
The worst part is — I’m not even allowed to find support somewhere else. If I talk to someone, he asks me to block them. And I do it, thinking maybe it’ll make things better. But for him, everything becomes normal… and for me, the same pain keeps repeating.
Now I feel alone even while being in a relationship. I can’t leave him because I’m too attached, and I can’t talk to anyone else because he doesn’t like it. It feels like I’m stuck in between — with no way out.
I don’t know if this is love, attachment, or just fear of losing him. But I do know that I’m not feeling okay anymore.
What should someone do in a situation like this?
@loyalTangerine3293
I feel concerned about you. It doesn’t seem right and it doesn’t sound like love in neither direction. Love is about wanting the best for the other person and trust.
It’s good he is not explicitly abusive but isolation is really bad. Maybe the two of you could work it out through some couple therapy? However, I hear that you tried talking… honestly I think it could be best to take a break from this relationship. Maybe, it could be worked out from a distance. He would have to face at least two truths: his insecurity and how much do you mean for him. He could still choose you but it could turn out he would not make the effort… either way what if you at least radically stop sacrificing yourself and accepting the isolation?
@loyalTangerine3293
You are not alone. Many are in similar shoes. Sooner or later, you will love yourself enough to see this is not a working relationship. You deserve to have your needs met too. For them to be there for you and not just some half a$$ "Sorry..." because they are not.
Telling you to block others and normal only works for him is your answer. Please do not waste your time believing he will suddenly meet our needs it does not happen. Blocking you from others is because he KNOWS you can do better and yet he does not care enough to change himself. We cannot change them ...they need to work on the person and partner they want to be.
I told my past person I was lonely with him in the room he thought I was joking. He found out It was not a joke. I filled my life with things without him had very little time for him.
Any person can say "I love you" but a real relationship they do not need to say it because we feel it and it SHOWS in their actions and how they treat us.
I treated him same as he did me. Not making him feel included in my thoughts, plans or actions. I became more independent and saw a future without him.
My favorite thing to prove a point was after he tells me some long story about himself or an interest, I would immediately. Say "what did you say I was not really listening". He got it .....but by that time I was not going back as seeing how far I had come I would not settle for false promises or empty words.
Him requesting you not talk with other people and you acquiescing to this request is a huge red flag. It's a classic tactic for abusers to begin their abuse by cutting off their partner from their support systems. The next stage will be to convince you to deny your feelings.
You are entitled to your feelings and to a robust support system.