I love him but don't know how to fix what I did😕
I really need some advice about my relationship because I honestly don’t know what to do, Me and my boyfriend have been together for a few months now and I really love him, but lately things have gotten bad because of trust,I did things in the past like replied to an old fling the first two weeks into our relationship and that hurt his trust in me, and I lied about some things because I was scared of losing him and scared of how he would look at me if I told him the truth. I know that was wrong and I take responsibility for it. I understand why he’s hurt and why it’s hard for him to trust me now especially because he’s been cheated on before and already has a hard time trusting people,but the problem is he keeps saying that all his trust in me is gone and that he’s never going to trust me again,He also said things that make me feel like he thinks we’re not going to last,and that’s what I don’t know how to deal with because I feel like you literally can’t have a relationship without trust. I'm willing to do whatever I can to rebuild it and show him through my actions that I can be trusted, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix something if he already feels like it can never be fixed. We argue a lot too, and sometimes we both say things that hurt each other when we’re angry. I’ve said things I regret and I know I need to work on how I handle arguments because I don’t want us to keep hurting each other and then just going back to normal. At the same time, we still love each other and we still talk every day so it’s not like there’s no love there. That’s why idk what to do, I don’t want to leave him, and I don’t want to keep forcing a relationship that isn’t healthy either. I really want to know if this can actually be fixed and what BOTH of us can do to fix it. How do you rebuild trust after it’s been broken? How do you know if someone is actually trying to forgive you versus just staying but never being able to move past it? And if he says he’ll never trust me again, is there even a way for us to have a healthy relationship?
To add I had a history in my past of having phone se* with people online with Like 14 people and he hates that, and the part where I messaged and old fling the guy messaged me telling me I was too good looking and "he needed to hide me from the world" and i replied "thank you bbyyy" then he messaged "when you gonna stop playing and come home" my *** replied "😂😂 who's playing?" Then when he first asked about this guy I lied not wanting him to find out about my past not realizing the guy didn't even know about my past, also wanna add I have social anxiety and never really had an in person friend or relationship I've only done things over the phone and I'm a virgin and everything never even had my first kiss but my boyfriend doesn't believe anything I say anymore (our relationship is online for now and I plan to meet with him if he even allows that now but I hope I can fix things and he could be my first with everything I really love him
You just say, I did wrong in the past but now I asking forgiveness and if you don't have trust then you don't love me. Sometimes I feel he needs sometime distance to realise your value. Actually his trauma is triggered so he needs to heal from it. I really admire that you are virgin and take this an advice please don't lose it before marriage.
Thank you so very much I'll take your advice 🥺💕
You just say, I did wrong in the past but now I asking forgiveness and if you don't have trust then you don't love me. Sometimes I feel he needs sometime distance to realise your value. Actually his trauma is triggered so he needs to heal from it. I really admire that you are virgin and take this an advice please don't lose it before marriage.
I’m sorry that you constantly feel like there’s nothing you can do to fix the situation, especially when you’re genuinely trying your best to get better. I think when trust has been broken, one of the best things you can do is sit down and have an honest conversation about everything that happened and why he feels like he lost trust in you. Let him express how he feels, take accountability for your part in it, and let him know that you understand why he feels the way he does and that you don’t intend to repeat those behaviors.
But after that conversation, the most important thing is showing him through your actions that you are trying to change. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight. It’s something you have to demonstrate consistently through your behavior, communication, and the way you treat him every day.
At the same time, rebuilding trust can be really difficult if the other person isn’t willing to acknowledge or recognize the effort you’re making. You can take accountability, change your behavior, and consistently show that you’re trying, but you can’t force someone to trust you again. Both people have to be willing to work toward rebuilding it.
