I need help

@helloMaple7041

It is great you want to fix this ... you understand how it feels from the other side of this behavior. 

Have you thought about why you have done this?       do you feel good about yourself and how is your self esteem?   

Relax and give yourself a break. You had a bad relationship and fear the worst now .   believe in yourself that you are a catch and not to worry about what if's.   when we doubt good things in our life it ruins it as you are finding out. 

I think when we think a person is really good to us there must be something else going on... it is conditioned in some that if things are going smooth and such there must be a reason.  

You are going through:

Past trauma: your first relationship involved emotional manipulation, control, distrust, and accusations. Current challenge, you are now with a good, loving person but you are projecting old wounds (assuming the worst, getting angry without cause). You realizes you repeating your ex’s behavior. You feels guilt, regret, and a strong desire to change.

Core emotions

Guilt for hurting someone good

Fear of losing him

Helplessness (“I don’t know how to stop”)

Hope and self-awareness (“I want to change”)

That means abusive ex ? Am i right?

That's what you wrote...

First of congratulations, It’s clear that you deeply care about your current partner, and the fact that you’re aware of your patterns and want to change them shows you’re already on the right path. 🙏

So now, what might help...

First when you feel triggered or suspicious, take 5 minutes before saying anything. Ask yourself: “What if I’m wrong? What if it’s just fear?” second write what you feel when assumptions come up. This helps separate facts vs fears. Third tell him you’re healing and may overthink sometimes. If he knows it’s not about him, he’s less likely to take it personally.

Now take the next one: forgive yourself.

~ aaryan