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I need some advice

User Profile: Val3nt1nee
Val3nt1nee October 28th, 2023

I've been in a 2 year relationship with this guy I met in school. Things have been rough the past few months and we ended up taking a break but we got back together after a couple weeks. A few days ago I found out my boyfriend (?) Has been having doubts about whether he loves me or not. He told me it's not just me he's having doubts about but he wants to break up. I've been non stop crying because I love him too much and I'm so scared to lose him. I've tried to offer alternatives like going no contact, taking another break, or for him to start therapy again. He doesn't want to consider them. He just wants to be completely detached from me so he can take this time to himself and figure his feelings out. He doesn't know how he feels at all. I don't want to break up. I don't think it should even be an option. We've worked through so much together and he's been my person for so long and I'm scared that this is the end and he's not going to come back. However I can tell he loves me. He does a lot to show it. And I've seen him light up when he looks at me. All of these actions are recent. A few days before he told me all of this we had been cuddling and play fighting. And a day or two later he tells me everything. I feel like he's just scared just like me. Im trying to be more supportive of his decision since he's so set on it. But I'm just so confused. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know if there's anything I can do to prevent it. I've just been talking to him as if nothing happened because he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to let him go. I've spent 2 years planning my life with him and I can't imagine it without him. I don't want anyone else other than him. What can I do?

3
User Profile: honestWatermelon3901
honestWatermelon3901 October 28th, 2023

@Val3nt1nee same here, Even I've been through such times and it hurts alot , in my case it was LDR but still we were so attached and were being on call for hours daily. When we had break up , I got so low that I cut my hand . Then i got to realise that the break up happened for betterment of my life . Till now it's been 1 year after the break up , I'm happy now , I don't get any feelings on any other girl , I'm working on myself and I'm giving much time to love myself and lead a life that i want 

User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 October 28th, 2023

@Val3nt1nee

If he has told you he is not sure of his feelings how is he suppose to figure it out while in a relationship with you.. even on a break....  Imagine you wanted to explore your feeling and or thoughts and another person wanted to put limits on how you can do it......

I know it hurts it seems like we cannot imagine it over ..... if you do care for him let him make his choice.  the fact things seemed ok recently could have been an act.   would you like your relationship to all be pretend from his side. 

1 reply
User Profile: Val3nt1nee
Val3nt1nee OP October 28th, 2023

Thank you. That really put things into perspective.

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