Infidelity
Been with my wife for 11 years. We have two kids together. Shortly after my mother passed away two years ago, I was informed by someone close to the situation that my wife has been having an affair with her ex throughout our marriage. I was devastated. This prompt me to investigate which lead me to finding messages on her *** between her and her ex. When I confronted her about it she immediately said this was a lie. Not knowing I found messages, I asked her had she ever been in contact with her ex, to which she also denied. I was crushed to see her lying to me. I then confronted her with the messages and she stated this happened only one time and she had lapsed in judgment. She wants to start over and move on but I cannot bring myself to trusting her. I wish she was just honest and tell me the truth, but all she does is deny it and makes other excuses. She also got her aunt to be her alibi by three way calling her and making me go on mute. Her aunt not knowing I was on the phone called me some evil names stating that I was only accusing my wife as a way of trying to control her. She completely deflected and accused me of infidelity. When I tried to speak up during the call, my wife quickly hung up. This made me angry. I told my wife that her actions made things worst. My wife also went to Vegas with her cousin in less than a year after my mother passed. This was after her and I agreed this trip would be between us. I think she may have met with her ex in Vegas and although she did go with her cousin I cannot discount the possibility that her ex was also there. I just cant prove it. Never did my wife consider that it was going to be my first birthday with out my mother and she could've used that money to do something special for me. I'm really tired and want a divorce but Im afraid of what will happen to my kids. I'm afraid of losing them. I'm so frustrated that I allowed myself to be a fool for so long. I trusted her. I'm confused and wish she was honest. I'm stuck between believing her but I cannot ignore all the other variables. I have no one to talk to and my mind is going crazy. I just need someone to listen without passing judgment.
@Sandy77788
I agree when a person lies to your face when confronted by proof ....there is nothing as devastating
It is so much easier to admit and talk about your relationship and how to move forward. Perhaps to give you clarity find a consultation about your rights and parental outcome in possible divorce.
Have you confronted the ex and told them to butt out. Sometimes calling it out is the best way to deal with it. Perhaps asking her family if this is their values as well hard for wife to hide in the shadows and deny when you flip on the light switch.
If anything her family will protect her. Her brother knew what was going on cause he'd take me out as a way for her to be alone with her ex. I cannot trust anybody. They all been trying to make me look like the bad guy. I feel stuck. I've contacted an attorney to see what my options are. It's just real frustrating. I have so many regrets. I wish someone cared about the kids. Why go through all of that and bring kids into this world!? They don't deserve this. Never did I imagine being divorced. It hurts me. I wished I was smart enough to walk away earlier. I just feel so stupid.
@Sandy77788
if family is helping or enabling her she most likely made you out as a bad guy even though this sound like she just wants to deflect on her choice to cheat. Good call on talking to attorney and of course their help is giving you direction. No one plans on or sees themselves as divorced in the future or no one would marry.
if this EX is so great why is he the "ex" ? and she wasted your time and had kids with you. when they broke up before did EX leave her and you were rebound or did she dump him.... sooner or later they will remember why they were Exes.
Apparently her mother forced her to marry me because she did not approve of her ex. So when I came along her mom became opportunistic. This is According to sources that are close to the situation. I'm also very angry that folks waited this long to come forward. It's very frustrating understand that they knew about this and watched me look like a fool. This made me feel alone. I almost feel like I can't trust anyone.
@Sandy77788
I am sorry about that ....I sometimes forget some people make life choices based on family or parents wishes or influence some for culture some because they are not strong or confident in their own choices. perhaps tell the attorney this as well for custody.
In the end they not only hurt you but your kids as well and are not good people. when appropriate show your kids how this was using you and your feelings. It is not about bad mouthing them but showing them that side of family does NOT Have their best interests at heart.