Is it worth it?
I’ve been dating this dude for about a year and a half. We get along great, we have good communication and I do love him. However I won’t lie, I am the one who is paying for majority of the stuff we do (female, 22). I don’t know how to tell him I can’t keep affording to go out every weekend.
To me it is more important about the time spent together than the money, but unfortunately I’m not cut out to be financially supporting both of us whenever we hang out. He has had a really hard time finding a job, and has no real support. I don’t take it out on him, but I’m also starting to be stretched thin. My older adult friends are saying that this situation is bad and I shouldn’t keep doing it.
There’s other small arguments we’ve had, but ultimately it’s okay and we always work it out. But I’m starting to have doubts, especially with how anxiously attached he is, constantly questioning me on how much I love him etc. I don’t know. I do love him. But it’s also costing me a lot.
@callinglynx
It's important to be honest
A relationship has to be equal and provide a safe space for both people.
You don't have to carry it all on your own.
You matter too 💛
@callinglynx
You do a good assessment on your situation. It is good to always question the direction that we are heading in.
@callinglynx
I feel like this is a common issue both ways.
It should be a team effort in chipping in for what you want to do. when one person feels financially stretched paying for all or most it becomes an issue. I find it is not big things that cause issues it is a mountain of small things that do not change. Paying for everything or making all plans and really doing the work to do anything is exhausting and it is not something we forget and can become a keeping score thing.
I really appreciate your reply and perspective on this. Thank you for the support, friend.
Don’t stretch yourself thin, especially financially. It’s not your responsibility to pay for everything, and if he expects you two to go out on the weekends, he needs to get his butt in gear and start chipping in or be content with staying in and not spending money. They will show their true colors once you cut them off financially. You are still young and have so much life to live still. Don’t put yourself into debt because of someone else. 💛
Don’t stretch yourself thin, especially financially. It’s not your responsibility to pay for everything, and if he expects you two to go out on the weekends, he needs to get his butt in gear and start chipping in or be content with staying in and not spending money. They will show their true colors once you cut them off financially. You are still young and have so much life to live still. Don’t put yourself into debt because of someone else. 💛
I really appreciate your words and perspective. It is so difficult because I say it’s fine, but it has been a cause for worry as of late. I really do enjoy going out and doing these things, and it’s not like it’s taken for granted, but I don’t know how to put a boundary or limit on the fact that it’s becoming too much for me to support all the time.