Is this overreacting?
I was watching tv and moving things around and talking about what food to order for dinner. I was watching with my husband and friend. He said “move, you’re standing in front of the tv” and my initial response was “no I’m not.” For perspective, I was standing off to the side and didn’t realize that what I was holding could have resulted in him not seeing. He asked if I was calling him a liar. I said no and he told me “fine then don’t move then, clearly I’m a liar.” I said that I never said that and apologized saying that I didn’t realize the things in my hand could have been blocking his view. He immediately stopped talking to me and has not said a word the rest of the night. After the show ended, I said that I was just gonna go to bed. My friend told me I don’t understand empathy and that I implied he was lying and me shutting down and not talking about it by going to bed ruined the night. Again, I apologized and said that I didn’t think that I was in the way and I may have responded too quickly but I genuinely was not calling or implying that anyone is a liar. They both are standing firm and now no one is talking to me. I feel like they are both overreacting and it should have just been a small thing. I don’t know thought.
@jenead
I think we all have been in a similar situation not realizing we were in line of sight or obstructed a view accidentally. By what you are describing you are correct they both are over reacting. I think there might be a underlying issue the reason your husband would immediately jump to say you are accusing him of lying and silent treatment.
Was he mad about something else? Is this friend closer to spouse then you? Friend adding onto this was not needed and only serves to make it harder to talk about this.
It’s extremely disheartening. I’ve gone all day and the only thing he’s said to me when I tried to bring it up was that I will turn our kids into liars. I genuinely have apologized for not taking his angle into account and that I would like to move past this. He and my friend have both said that that shows I don’t have empathy if I just want to move past and don’t see that I hurt his feelings. I don’t know what else to do other than apologize
It’s extremely disheartening. I’ve gone all day and the only thing he’s said to me when I tried to bring it up was that I will turn our kids into liars. I genuinely have apologized for not taking his angle into account and that I would like to move past this. He and my friend have both said that that shows I don’t have empathy if I just want to move past and don’t see that I hurt his feelings. I don’t know what else to do other than apologize
@jenead
If you want to apologize to appease the situation do it.
I would want to know what are you apologizing for really mistaking that you were blocking partially his view or that he took your questioning of how much you were blocking as a question of his honesty.
Good communication is important ...and that is not just talking but seriously seeing the other point of view. this is where the "i feel" statements work... they cannot argue or turn it back on you.
saying something like " I feel this whole thing has been blown up beyond the small item of accidentally blocking your view., i thought i was more to the side of the TV. " . or "i feel this has spiraled, is there something else you want to discuss" if they push back how can they say how you FEEL is wrong.? i used this and have a better understanding with partner of our viewpoints on things.
@jenead This just sounds like a mismatch in communication styles. People tend to block others out when they feel unheard themselves, and it sounds like both of you experienced that. I wouldn't overthink it or let the anger brew. Just brush it off and try something different next time.