I think I got married too early

@braveTortoise2872 I struggled deciding if I should respond to your post or if I should just move on in fear of you not liking what I say... but I decided to just post anyway just to offer you some insight and a new perspective. 

You started your post off with how in love you used to be with your husband and ended it with how you just don't anymore. And to me, that's heartbreaking. Does your love really have an "on and off" switch because you don't like something someone does or says? 

Now think why did he respond how he did? Why did he react how he did? Could you be because you openly admitted you had a crush on your friend? Could he be he was hurt and betrayed? Ask yourself-- how would you feel if the roles were reversed? Would you be ok and understanding if he admitted be had a crush on someone else while married to you? 

Does not cheating and infidelity begin in the heart? How can you be certain you wouldn't have done anything with your friend crush? How could he trust that? I would like to applaud you for being honest with your feelings, but feelings while married for someone is is wrong. Really ask yourself if this is something you would be ok with? 

I believe anyone would be upset. And while your husband has every right to feel anger and sadness for what you told him, it doesn't give him the right to mistreat you or verbally abuse you just because how he feels. 

It truly seems you both have some talking to do. I hope you both are able to effectively communicate, have your hearts open, be receptive, and be forgiving. Couple counseling will not work or magically fix things in the marriage if you both don't want to fix things.  It's something you must both want. Truly ask yourself if this is what you want. He needs to tryly ask him can he find a way forward knowing your heart is not his completely.  

If there's one thing I can agree with-- it's you're right-- your friend crush doesn't deserve this anger you feel toward them now. Your friend crush is not at fault here. I really feel like you are displacing here and that's not a nice thing to do. At the end of the day, it's your feelings you need to reflect on. What to do you want? What do you feel you deserve in a relationship and in life? No matter what I believe, your husband believes, your friend crush believes, or anyone else-- you do deserve happiness. It seems you have a lot of thinking to do. With hurt feelings on the line, confusion, and who knows what else... it's worth deciding what it is you really want. 

Remember though-- can true feelings really be turned off like that? You decide. Whatever happens, I wish you happiness and growth in your personal life. Take care! 

@braveTortoise2872

It is an awful feeling when your feelings fade or just change. We grow and change throughout life and so do our spouses.  Sometimes those changes do not bring us together but show us the weak spots.

 I too developed feelings for a friend because they had qualities and spark, I was not getting from spouse. We shared interests and had a connection where we could talk for hours. something spouse was never good with.  Not a big communicator. It helped me grow as a person... it was like water to a plant in a drought.

  I looked at my spouse and wondered too if I should have not married etc. I think the people we meet and interact with in our lives come into our lives in a specific moment. If we had not married or dated more there was no way I would have met my friend and had a different life with them. It was not as if I did not wait for the "one" that IMO is a fairy tale.  it is just our needs/ wants may have changed.  people always refer to the beginning of their relationship.  Often talking of how much they were in love and how their partner changed ...........not seeing you change too.  I am not sure the person i was when i married would even recognize me now. 

    This friend awakened something in you where you want more or different then spouse is giving. Maybe parts of you think if only he had these qualities etc. I missed an emotional connection with spouse but in meeting my friend I saw spouse and I did not lose it but simply did not have one. The friend had qualities that spouse had never shared with me. 

While I admire your honesty telling him, this probably undermined his security in life, and he may never think you would ever even have thoughts of another... so in a way showing him a side of you he never saw.   if you moved to new place stress on stress added is a perfect storm.